💫⭐️

8

8
Sunday, June 19, 2018
1:50 pm

  We're on our way back home finally.  I think my mom saw my cuts, when the tide came in, it lifted my shorts so you could see the scars.  I looked at her and she was staring at the then immediately looked away.  I attempted to play it cool and just go along with swimming.  She hasn't said anything about it so I don't know.
  I went to the pride parade in St. Pete yesterday.  There were Christians trying to "cleanse our souls".  So I bought a rainbow flag from a cart I walked by and waved it at them.  I waved it in front of their sign to block out the word 'homosexuals', as it was a list of people who are a sin.  I waved it for three hours.
This guy sprayed the sign with silly string, this other one got a group of people and stated twerking on it, a lot of people made out in front of it, and this guy had his own sign that said "FUCK THIS GUY! This is YOUR day! Have fun!".  Then, another guy got WASTED, he was shit faced, and he started talking to one of the Christians and started cuddling on him.  It was the best thing I've seen.
  I got a lot of bracelets so yay.  I'm just going straight to bed when I get home.
I am unbelievably tired, and we aren't getting home until 9:30 pm.  Oi.
  And my mom keeps talking about moving to Florida now.  She just wants away from John, Adam, and everyone.  She seems to have her heart set on moving here when Mark finishes school.  We'll see how it goes.

2:36 pm
  I nearly forgot, I almost cried at pride.  I'm FTM trans, and my mom doesn't know.  I did wear a trans flag to pride, but mom thought I was just wearing it for fun.  She does not accept trans people, she said "It doesn't matter what you think you are, you can cut your tits off and get a penis, you're still a girl.  Same goes for the men who think they were supposed to be a woman.". 
  This killed me,  I thought she would accept me, I even came close to telling her I was trans at pride.  That was, until this happened:  this man saw my trans flag and came up to me, he said "Transgender, right?", I said "Yeah.".  My mom chimed in and said very firmly "She's just supporting.".  The man went on about how he just learned this today and I just stayed silent.
  I hated that, and I still wanted to come out, I had planned for WEEKS what I was going to say, and I didn't get to.  I just didn't know how to tell her after that.

5:04 pm
  You know what's worse than that though? My eating schedule.  The second day we were here my mom asked why I didn't eat yesterday or today, I lied and told her I wasn't hungry.  Technically it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the entire truth either.  She made me eat nonetheless.  And she brought food for everyone every day, and she would come to check on me, but I think she did it to make sure I ate.
  When I get back home my schedule resumes.  I'm not having nearly one and a half weeks of being on schedule get ruined by one little vacation.