Distant Fires of Heaven (The Malevolent Sacrifices #1)

Realizations

Stephen laid there that night while the two of them rested in his bed.
He held his fragile girl in his arms. He held someone who had nightmares of her heart being ripped out, and he loved this someone. He loved her so much that it hurt.
He watched her sleep. The vulnerability in her face as she slept with her head on his chest, her hand intertwined with his.
He knew that she loved him, too. It brings a smile to his face to know it, and to hear her speak his name while he made love to her had sent sparks of bliss flying from his heart.
He kept hearing her moans as he held her, kept remembering the way she felt against him. The way her skin felt against his, the way her lashes fluttered against his cheekbones, the way her lips felt.
He would never kiss another girl again, because they weren't his Juliet. No one could be his Juliet, except for the girl in his arms in this current moment.
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, his hand that was wrapped under her body running small circles around her back.
Their legs were intertwined. Stephen had never felt so secure before in his entire life.
Not as a child being protected and loved by his parents, not as being an older brother and protecting his younger sisters.
This, being with Juliet, loving her, this true tender feeling that would whip his heart with every beat in his chest, was his most sincere form of security.
Her rest was peaceful. She didn't sleep as she had the night before, tossing and turning. Groaning in an agonizing way.
Stephen had to leave her room before she woke, because he just wouldn't able to bare the look on her face when she'd wake.
But now it was different. He wasn't sure if it was because she felt safe in his arms, or if it was just because he's there with her in general.
He didn't mind, either. He liked knowing she was at peace right now.
He listened to her breathing, slow and steady.
He didn't know how they were going to tell the others they were together.
Rose wouldn't take it to kindly, and Stephen was sure of that, since he'd never been fair to her with Mason.
Maybe for Rose, he could do that. Be kinder and more accepting to Mason. He just wasn't sure if that could be right now.
Maybe Rose will understand that he and Juliet are together. Since she is with Mason, she could have a more optimistic view on love. Maybe she'd be happy for the both of them.
Stephen knew his sister, and knew she'd be angry before she'd be calm.
Juliet stirred in his arms, turning her body away from his and had her back facing him now. He moved to wrap his arms around her from behind. He adjusted blankets so they'd both be covered.
She made a noise that sounded like a whisper, and Stephen leaned closer as she started mumbling softly.
She wasn't speaking a sentence, she was speaking names.
Andrew.
Calvin.
Livia.
Mom.
Dad.
She was dreaming of her family. Stephen pulled her a bit closer to him, and she made a sad noise.
He could wake her, ask if she's alright.
She said more names.
Uncle Tavvy.
Uncle Ty.
Aunty Dru.
Uncle Mark.
Aunt Helen.
Aline.
Kieran.
Kit.
Stephen knew who Kit Herondale-Blackthorn is. He's an extremely distant relative. He stayed with the Blackthorns when he was only 15.
Now he's married to Tiberius Blackthorn, Juliet's uncle. One of her many, many uncles. Well, she only has 3 uncles, and her very protective father.
Stephen wondered if Julian would like him. He wondered if Julian would be okay with Juliet dating him.
Julian probably knows about how Stephen used to bully her, so he probably wouldn't be okay with it at all.
Stephen sighed to himself. That would be a challenge, and he hoped Julian could learn to accept him into the family. He knows how much the term 'family' means to the Blackthorns.
Juliet stirred in her sleep some more, turning her head a bit so Stephen could see her face, and she'd been crying.
Stephen gently shook her shoulder, and she gasped pulling herself up. Stephen held her, and she collapsed into his arms.
"I didn't want to wake you, but you're crying, and I wanted to know what you're dreaming about that's making you cry." He whispered to her.
She looked at him, and sighed burying her head into the crook of his neck. "I've never been away from home for 2 months before, and even though it's only been a couple of days, I miss them." She whispered. "My sister Liv would climb into bed with me sometimes and we'd talk about what ever she wanted until she fell asleep. My brother Cal would come to me for advice about stuff, and he'd take my advice so literally. Then there's my other brother Andrew. He's just like my Mom. You wouldn't be able to say anything bad about any of us without him strangling you first." Juliet laughed softly.
Stephen noticed how talking about her family eased her. Her tears had stopped coming now, and her face was glowing.
He ran his hand gently across her cheek. She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. "My mom is going to throw a party at the fact I'm dating a Herondale." Juliet chuckled. "Your dad was her mentor, she's the best shadowhunter of her generation because of that."
Stephen chuckled. "Well I'm glad at least one of your parents will like me."
"You're scared of meeting my dad, aren't you?" Juliet said softly. "He isn't so bad." She let go of his hand, her fingers now trailing up his arm.
Her touch sent shivers through his body.
"I'm not sure he's fond of me, because of me bullying you in the past." Stephen murmured to her.
Juliet laughed softly. Her hand now trailing up his bicep. Stephen felt his heart sputter.
"He may be a bit against the idea of me dating you, but you aren't the same Stephen you were 4 years ago. I think if he sees that you've matured then he'll be okay with you. Although if you're looking to be his best friend, that may be difficult. My mom may want to fight you for that position." She chuckled.
Stephen smiled and leaned his head against hers. "You sound so calm when you speak about your family." He said and he felt her hand slide along his collarbone, her fingers moved slowly, seeming to get a feel for the way his skin was textured.
"They do keep me calm. Whenever I go through a rough patch, it's always my family that gives me the strength to heal." She took a long pause. Stephen wondered what she'd say next. His hand rested on her bare hip, his thumb moving slowly back and forth along her skin.
"You said you aren't innocent." He whispered. "Did you just mean your sex life? Or was it in general?"
"At the time I meant my sex life, but now I can say I mean in general. Promise you won't think anything different of me?" She whispered to him.
She pulled her head up to look at him. "I don't just have nightmares about demons eating my body, Stephen. There are other things that contribute."
He only nodded. "You don't need to tell me if you aren't comfortable. We've only just started dating."
"But we said no more secrets, and I am comfortable. Ever since you laid by my side last night, I've had an uneasy need to keep you by me. I let you see a side of me that even Rose hasn't seen, and the idea that I was vulnerable to you before I even truly knew you, that means something to me." Her hand trailed up his neck, her thumb resting on his jawline. "Does it mean something to you?" She whispered.
Stephen ran his hand up her waist. "It does. It means everything to me."
"Then I have no reason not to tell you this." She pulled away from him before she sat up, and Stephen was looking at her bare back. He could see scars there, that looked jagged. He didn't see these before. He ran his hand along them. Juliet shivered under his touch and he pulled his hand away.
"No, no it's okay." She whispered. "Your touch makes me sensitive."
Stephen hesitated before resting his hand against her back, and he felt goosebumps raise on her skin.
Juliet turned her head to look at him. "I used to date a boy. My father hated him with a passion. My mother hated the fact that I was with him." She said softly.
Stephen could feel the abrasions of her scars under his skin. What had happened to her?
"What happened?" He asked softly.
Juliet sighed. "They were right to hate him. He and I were in an argument, and I turned my back on him, and he hit me with a glass vase. These scars used to be open wounds, glass stuck down into my back." Stephen felt his muscles tense. She continued to talk. "I wish he could have knocked me unconscious, but he left me on the floor and laughed at me. He left me there all night." She sniffled, and Stephen sat up and pulled her into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder.
Stephen was shaking. "Who was he? I'll choke him until he turns blue-"
"Stephen it doesn't matter." She whispered.
"Yes it does. Who was it?" He was so angry, so beyond angry, that anyone could hurt her, could have the audacity to be violent towards her.
She hesitated, and Stephen grabbed her hand and pressed it against his chest. His heart beat rapidly against his chest, and Juliet gasped.
"It, it was Riley Dearborn." She whispered.
Riley is Zara's oldest son. He is an idiot, as far as Stephen knew. Stephen added abuser to that list now.
Stephen looked at her. "Oh Juliet. My sweet Juliet. I'll kill him. I'll pull his ugly beige hair out of his scalp."
Juliet did not say anything. Instead she held onto Stephen as if she were dying, and as Stephen looked at her, he saw how much she was trying not to cry.
"Juliet..." He lifted her chin up towards him.
Tears spilled down her face. "You know what happened when I tried to tell on him?"
"No. What happened?" Stephen asked her.
Her tears glossed her eyes, and Stephen could see how much it took from her to speak about him.
"He threatened to hurt my sister Stephen. Liv was only 3 at the time. I was so scared. I lied to my parents, I told them I had did this to myself. Riley hurt me, and he was the one who ended it. He called me horrible names, he told me my family is sick for accepting Mark and Helen as being part faerie, and he threatened my little sister, and I still protected him. If my parents knew what he had said or done, Riley would be buried at the crossroads." She shook uncontrollably, and Stephen pulled her tighter against his body.
No one deserved that. Especially not his Juliet.
Stephen mentally planned how long it'd be before Riley was buried at the crossroads.
"I wish I hadn't been so stupid and dated him. I don't know what I was thinking." She whispered.
"None of that was your fault my Juliet. No one raised him to be a respectful person. He was raised by bigots and assholes. You didn't see that, and I am so sorry he did that to you." Stephen did his best to stay calm, so he could keep her calm.
He closed his eyes, and sighed to himself.
"Now how could you think I'd think anything different of you, my Juliet?" He whispered.
She sniffled. "I thought you'd think of me as a weak person, as a coward for not saying anything to anyone about him. I thought you'd think of me as a fool for dating him in the first place."
Stephen took a deep breath. He opened his eyes, staring into those oceanic eyes he always wants to drown in, he held her face in his hands. "Juliet, you've been hurt by him, he has made you think a certain way about love, hasn't he? I won't ever think that way about you. You are brave for bottling it up to protect Liv. You kicked a demons head off tonight without the bat of an eyelash. How could I ever think of you as weak? You are so strong, and you are everything I have ever wanted. Even if it's only been one night with you, I have never ever felt this way about somebody before. I am not Riley Dearborn. I have a heart, and I want you to have it, my sweet Juliet. I will give you everything you've ever needed and more."
Juliet's tears slipped down her face and she smiled widely. "Oh Stephen, I don't know what to say to that." She whispered.
She reached up and took his hands off of her face and intertwined their fingers together.
"I want your heart, Stephen Herondale. I give you mine to take as well. Please don't break it." She leaned in towards him.
He stared into her eyes. "I promise you, I will never break your heart, Juliet Blackthorn."
She pressed her lips against his, and the kiss was soft and slow. She pulled away slowly, Stephen amazed at how this woman could be his.
"Not that I don't like where this could be heading," Juliet said. "But could we talk about something else? Like you?" She whispered.
"Of course." He brushed her hair from her face, and kissed the top of her head.
"Tell me something about you, anything. I've spent so long talking about me." She said. She ran her hand through his hair. She looked around his room. "You like books?"
Stephen smiled softly. "I love books. All kinds of books. Some of these books I borrowed from the London Institute. My ancestor Will once owned them."
Juliet leaned her head down on his shoulder. "What is your favorite book?
"Oh no. You're asking me to choose a favorite?" He gasped.
Juliet laughed. "Am I asking you for to much?"
"Way to much." He grinned.
It warmed his heart to hear her laugh after she had spoken of such a dark past. It made her brave, to laugh after she talked about her own pain.
She is brave, and Stephen absolutely loved her for it.
"Okay, uh, what's the most recent book you've read that you enjoyed?" She asked him.
Stephen smiled. "Romeo and Juliet."
Juliet pulled her head up and rolled her eyes. "You're only saying that because my name is Juliet."
"Possibly, or because I actually did read and fairly enjoy it?" Stephen grinned at her.
"Shakespeare wrote that right?" She asked, and laughed.
"You're messing with me." He said and Juliet laughed more.
"I am. But to be honest I've never read Shakespeare. I don't understand his language." She said.
Stephen kissed her cheek. "Then I'll set out to rewrite the entire thing so you can read it. In modern English."
She snorted. "Yeah, okay."
Stephen rubbed her back. "Tell me something about you. Something you like to do, besides play the cello because I know that already."
She blushed, he could see the red glowing on her cheeks from the light of the fire.
"Well, I like to fight with my sword, Durandal." She said softly. She spoke of Durandal like as if it's her child.
"Durandal was Roland's sword." Stephen said.
She nodded. "It is apart of the scripture on my mother's Cortana. Cortana is made from the same steel and temper of Joyuese and Durandal. I found my sword while visiting my Aunty Drusilla. It was behind Blackthorn manor, deep into the forest of Brocelind." Juliet started to laugh. "I found the damn sword because I tripped over its hilt."
Stephen laughed too. "You tripped over your own sword?"
She grinned. "I am a bit clumsy when I don't pay attention to my surroundings."
"I think that goes for everyone sweetheart." Stephen laughed.
Juliet smacked his shoulder playfully.
"Careful now." He grinned. "I'm a bit sensitive. I need to keep my skin as soft as a baby's bottom."
"I never understand why people say that? Needing to keep your skin as soft as a baby's ass cheek?!" She started to laugh at herself, and then she was laughing hysterically.
She fell back onto the mattress, her face red.
Stephen laughed too, seeing her laugh like this made him laugh.
She looked so pure, so gentle.
If anyone didn't know her, they'd assume her to be.
But Stephen knew her. He knew she was pure at the heart, but she wasn't gentle. She could be cold and ruthless if she ever so chose to be. He had seen it when she kicked the demons head off its shoulders, and hadn't even felt remorse.
She could be angry, and she could slice flesh from bone with Durandal in one stroke.
There are so many elements to this girl, who lay in his bed with no clothes on, laughing at a silly thing she said.
But she's yet to know of Stephen's pain, of his own elements. Tonight wasn't the night to talk about that though.
Instead Stephen laid back down with her, and they talked and laughed, kissed and cuddled, dreamt and wished, all the way until dawn. Juliet had fallen asleep with her body on top of his, her head on his shoulder, her arms resting around his neck.
Stephen had fallen asleep too. His arms wrapped tightly around her back.
The blanket had covered both of them, and the fire dimmed down to a simmer of ash.
The sun was coming up over the towers of New York, and Stephen saw this a sign of a new beginning, with his sweet Juliet Blackthorn.