Distant Fires of Heaven (The Malevolent Sacrifices #1)

Bid My Goodbyes to My Beloved

"Since I am feeling better, do I still need to go back home?" Juliet asked Julian as she sipped her tea that Stephen made perfectly.
The two of them were sitting in the lounge room now, and overlook of New York City right behind them. The NYC haze casted a pale glow in the room, and Julian's hair looked a darker shade of brown than the usual. Juliet's hair probably matched, since they practically are identical.
Julian hesitated to answer her, and he had been biting on his nails, a habit Juliet kept trying to force him to break.
Finally, he pulled his fingers away from his mouth, they were chewed right down to the nub, and he looked over at her with that determined expression, meaning whatever answer he gave to her he wasn't going to change his mind.
"I want you home, more than anything. I want to be able to protect you. You're my little girl, but you also turn 18 so soon. I think you can handle being here, especially being surrounded with the adults that are here occupying you all right now. But, if you want to come home, you can come home." He fixated his ocean blue eyes into her own, and Juliet groaned.
"Stop trying to adult me!" She swatted his arm as he laughed at her. "I'm not ready for that yet. Going to clave meetings, what is so fun about that?"
"It's more than clave meetings Juju. Its responsibilities, officially being on your own as a shadowhunter and not getting yourself killed, and you get to travel for the year, which I realized today. So I think maybe I was over reacting just a tad about making you come back home."
"I didn't think you were overreacting." She said softly. "Uncle Tavvy told you what poisoned me, right?"
Julian nodded. She took a deep breath. "Bare with me please. Don't, well try not to grow angry."
"Juliet. What happened?" He leaned in towards her, his arm around her shoulder now. His jaw was clenched, and now he was the Julian Blackthorn many would fear if they crossed him. His voice was stern and clear.
I won't cry. She told herself. I won't cry. Oh god. Oh god, I might cry.
She looked towards the floor and closed her eyes to keep the tears in.
"Dad, I Uncle Tavvy told you that I admitted Riley did things.."
She didn't see the open her eyes to know his muscles tightened, his body rigid. She could feel his suppressed anger writhing off his body in waves.
"He made you take that stuff, didn't he?" Julian didn't sound surprised. His voice was rough.
She only nodded.
Then she broke down in tears.

Stephen went to his room after Julian and Juliet left the kitchen, well after everyone left the kitchen. Breakfast was pretty awkward. Stephen sat by Jace, with Effy sitting next to him.
Juliet was right across from him, and their feet kept touching. It was accidental the first time, but then Juliet would jokingly kick him lightly, and she'd be grinning when Stephen would go to kick her back but realized her feet were tucked under the chair.
He laughed to himself now at Juliet's teasing humor, then pulled out a book to read. A Tale of Two Cities it was. He hadn't read this book yet, but Tessa had given him this copy, and told him it was a story worth reading.
He hasn't seen Tessa in quite a while. He wondered how she was doing.
He was a few chapters in when a knock sounded at his door. He set the book down and walked over opening his door.
He expected it to be Effy since she had been doing that lately, but instead it was Emma Blackthorn, Juliet's mother. Who also walked in on him and Juliet kissing intensely. Stephen didn't want to think of that, but after making small talk with Emma afterwards he realized she wasn't the parent who would have a heart attack at the thought of them dating, and he calmed himself down a bit.
But seeing her at his door was kind of awkward.
"Mrs. Blackthorn." He said to her.
"Oh don't call me that, Steph. Can I call you Steph?" She asked tilting her head a bit.
"Yeah you can call me Steph." He smiled.
"Good, then just refer to me as Emma." She said and he let her in. She walked in and looked around his room. "You room looks like a bomb went off in here." She said kicking a dirty shirt away from her.
Stephen scratched the back of his head. "It's a bit messy in here, I'm sorry." He cleaned off a chair for her, which was mostly books he just ended up stacking somewhere else.
Emma sat down, and crossed her legs. Stephen tried to see any of Juliet's current features in the set of Emma's face, but no. He couldn't see any. Juliet was pure Julian.
When he saw Julian he almost had a heart attack from the resemblance. It's different seeing Juliet alone then seeing her stand next to her father. They were practically twins, and Julian didn't even look in his late 30s. He looked much younger.
"I'm sure you're wondering what I'm doing in here." Emma smiled at him.
"Well, yeah kinda." Stephen said and sat in the chair at his writing desk.
"I just wanted to talk to you about Juliet. About some things Julian and I have never really had the chance to talk about with past boyfriends. But you aren't those boys, at least I hope not." She said and pulled her fingers through her blonde hair.
Stephen could feel himself growing nervous already. "Of course." He smiled gently.
"Don't be nervous, Steph. I understand that Julian and I probably seem intimidating to talk to. But I think it's wonderful you and Juliet are together. I know Octavian said he trained you at the Academy and he said you started out as a mess of a boy and left matured. So don't think I hold grudges on the past." Emma said.
"But Julian does, doesn't he?" Stephen blurted out. Emma looked towards the floor and Stephen sighed holding his head in his hands. "I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry."
"But you did. That's okay Steph, it's just a question. Julian doesn't forgive so easily because he's lived in a past where destruction was his kindness. It's left a permanent scar on him, and because of that he's always been a bit over the edge with the whole protecting his family thing. You have a reason to be intimated by him because of the way you treated Juliet in the past, but there are other people in Juliet's life who've done worse." Emma took a long sigh.
Riley. Stephen thought. "Listen, when you two do decide to tell Julian, it won't be easy as it's been when telling the others. But it won't be horrifying either." Emma smiled and played with her hair. "If this is the real thing. If you are dating my daughter to spend the rest of your lives together, which when I saw you two look at each other, it reminded me of how I look at my Julian, so I know that's what you two want. Then Julian will see that too, and he'll understand because he loves me the same way."
Stephen couldn't help but smile. "Thank you Emma. It means so much that you know and understand. I really do love her. I love her so much."
"How much do you know? How much has she told you about things?" Emma asked softly. There was a curiosity to her gaze.
"She's told me about Riley. Is there more I should know?" He asked. His gaze grew a bit intense.
"There are things about her that were caused by Riley. Some things she refuses to talk about, some things she can't hold in anymore and she spits out in a jumble of word vomits." Emma sighed and rubbed her face. "I'm sure there are things that even I don't know. She just, she won't open up to anybody. I was curious that maybe there are some things you know that she hasn't told me."
Stephen only shook his head. He wasn't sure of what Juliet had said to him or to Emma was the same and what was different.
"I'm sure of what I do know is only just the surface. She's gone through quite a bit and I can tell that she has, she is so brave. It amazes me how much she can take." Stephen smiled to himself as he spoke to Emma.
"Steph, I want to ask you to do a favor for me." Emma said and he watched her eyes flicker to an extremely serious note.
"What favor?" He asked her.
She smiled. "I want you to be that person Juliet can lean on. She's only ever had Julian, Me or Rosemary to do that with. It's different when it's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, I'm pretty sure you don't know that yet because you both are so young. She's spent her life being hurt and bruised by whatever steps in her way, but she's still here and I want you to make sure it stays that way. Especially when I'm not there to. Be that person for her Stephen. She needs it more than anyone could ever imagine." She paused, watching the way Stephen's face changed.
He felt it in his heart the words Emma said to him. Be that person for her.
He didn't want to be anything else. He'll protect her from whatever tries to hurt her. He will break Riley's neck the next time he sees him, and he'll lay with her every night to keep her away from her nightmares, he will let her hold his heart and warm it with the palms of her hands. Most of all, he'll love her. He'll love her without limits, beyond what the brain can manage.
His jaw sharpened, his eyes dilated at the thought in his head again. Be that person Juliet can lean on. She needs it more than anyone could ever imagine.
He will be that person. Her protector.
"Can you do that Stephen?" Emma asked softly.
He looked at Emma. "Of course I can do that. I want nothing more than to do that."
She got up then. "Thank you." She said softly and then left his room.