Drowning Into Death

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~ My body floating underwater, like my soul swimming between Life and Death... ~
Feeling hurt, forgotten, and left aside...
Funny how many people are around you, to comfort you and call themselves your friends, but when it comes to be lonely they suddenly disappear...

I was alone, on my own, while they were living their love Life easily with each other : Mai with Zuko, Aang with Katara, and then Sokka and Suki... Oh Sokka... My heart has been beating for you this whole time, but I'm afraid the love you had for Her deafened it because yours was beating for Hers...

Like the lifetime of a wave, my feelings for you were only ephemeral... A wave starts with the warm wind getting hotter and fiercer within a short laps of time, making a big wave slide majestically. And so began my passion for you. Like this water being mixed to slide graciously, my thoughts were mixed so I could love you all of a sudden

~ Like Love At First Sight~

Then the wave keeps on sliding, beginning to shrink while touching the sand and staring at the shore... While my eyes were being tortured by your Love and Happiness, my feelings for you started to disappear like this wave getting tinier and tinier, to let the water sink into sand...

And to finally finish, the wave dies slowly on the golden sand, leaving only a wet track with it's one shape ; it's last track in this unfair World...
Seeing the both of you together exhibiting your Love in front of me was enough, it was like this dry and soulless sand trying to make my feelings sink into it, but all you did was succeed... You succeeded to make me cry and fall for you...
You succeeded to make the wave end coldly and peacefully..
And so this wave died while drifting to the sandy shore...⠀
But the problem was, as soon as a wave had reached the shore, another one was starting over again... Once you were done stabbing my heart and tearing my feelings, new ones would immediately take over to live the same fate and undergo the same pain. Only this new wave was different, it was full of passion indeed, but also newly full of hope, trust and patience...

I hoped you could ever leave her for me, finally notice me and notice how I have been feeling about you, everything I've done for you ; I trusted Time to let you see me, and understand all I've been through, and how much I loved you ;
So I have been waiting this whole time, waves after waves, wether it hurt or not, I kept waiting for your love to sail on these waves and heal the wounds of my heart...

I have been waiting while keeping all of this only to myself, and I made sure it was really well kept in a very strong scallop that no one would ever break, to protect the Real me and my real frail heart...
A scallop that would only make me colder and more distant, to hope and dream of Our Love alone in my own corner...
A shield as strong as a rock that only you could ever open, but you never did... So I was waiting on this shore, watching these waves die one after the other...

But now, I am definitely done waiting... I am done waiting for something that will never happen, and suffer because of your Love and happiness... It was like you were enjoying seeing me like this, and were keeping on loving her even more to hurt me... Well, I am going to show you that I'm done... I don't care, or at least I won't care anymore... Where I'm going I won't feel anything at all, because my soul will be emptied of all my feelings and memories. I'm going to meet someone who is going to make me forget about you and this sorrowful life, I'm going to meet someone as unfair and soulless as you are :
I am going to meet Death...

And without any doubts I'll meet Her at the bottom of this ocean...
Once I've reached the clutches of this huge bowl of water, my soul won't be yours to torment anymore, it will entirely be Hers...
The night of your Engagement Announcement was enough, it was the straw that broke the camel's, it was too much for me to handle...

So I let myself go, to make my body float into the void down this cliff, and let me flow with the cold waves in the middle if the night... The same waves that have been waiting for you to notice them, and the same waves who have died successively...

~ My body floating underwater, like my soul swimming between Life and Death ~
Death, as cold as this water bringing me down deep into this ocean, was filling my lungs to make me drown even slower...
I was about I greet Death, and say farewell to Life, when a strong hand grabbed my to be corpse with strength, and took me from Death...

And so Life was cunning to see me fail to leave her...
And so Life dragged me out of this freezing Hell to bring me back to Her with a warm embrace...
Today is not the day you'll have me my dear Soulless friend, not today...

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