When I'm Gone (Janoskian Fanfic)

Chapter 2

Luke’s P.O.V:

I slowly rolled out of bed Tuesday morning, the day hadn’t even begun and I already felt like death. Today was the day I dread every year, the anniversary of my parents death. It’s hard every year, all the memories I had with them come flooding back and it’s so overwhelming. I changed into my tracksuit and walked out to the kitchen to see Jai already sitting at the breakfast bar eating his toast.

‘Morning’ I mumbled, still half asleep as I grabbed the Weetbix from the cupboard and milk from the fridge,

‘Where’s Carla?’ I asked

‘Still in bed and so is Beau’ Jai replied  

‘Are we still going to the cemetery later on?’ I asked as I sat down next to Jai and ate my breakfast

‘Yeah, are we going to tell Carla about..’

‘No’ I said firmly. ‘We can’t, it’ll break her heart and that’s the last thing we want’

‘But we have to tell her sooner or later’ Jai protested

‘I’d rather not tell her at all, but you’re right she deserves to know. Just not today’ I added

As I said that, I heard Carla coming down the stairs so Jai and I stopped our conversation. She was dressed in bike shorts and a jumper as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a chocolate muffin. She walked straight out and didn’t say a word. Even though Carla didn’t spend much time with our parents while they were alive, she still had some memories with them and missed them as much as the rest of us.

When I had finished eating, I walked back to my room and pulled out a shoe box out from underneath my bed. I gently opened the lid and saw a bunch of photo’s and cards. Every year I read the cards my mum wrote me for my birthday, she would always write an essay in them and I remember that I would ask why. She told me that one day I would read them and understand what they meant, and she was right. I read the first two lines of what she wrote in my first birthday card and a tear fell from my eye. Slowly, after reading all seven of them I was sitting on the floor crying, I tried to ignore how much it hurt to have them gone everyday but today I just couldn’t. I couldn’t fight what I really felt because today is too significant for me to ignore it. I stacked the cards neatly back in the box and then took out the photos. They were of mum, dad, Beau, Luke, Carla and I. I smiled at some them because of all the memories it brought back from when I was younger, I would give anything to have my parents back in my life.

I was sitting in the lounge room on my laptop when I heard a knock on the front door, I got up to go and answer it but Beau bet me to it. I thought to myself, who could it be? Everyone’s at school..

‘Hey man, how are you feeling?’ Daniel asked me as he walked into the living room

James walked in straight behind him and they both gave me a man hug and flashed sympathetic smiles

‘I’m alright, aren’t you both supposed to be in school?’ I replied, confused as to why they turned up on our doorstep

‘Yeah, but we wanted to see how you guys were holding up’ Daniel answered

‘Don’t worry, we both signed out of school saying we had appointments so we wouldn’t get in trouble for skipping class’ James assured me

‘Good, Were doing okay I guess, nobody really says much and I guess that’s the main problem. We all keep it bottled up inside’ I stated

‘Where’s Carla? How is she coaping with all of this?’ James asked concerned

‘I saw her this morning but she didn’t say anything. She went for a run but apart from that she hasn’t really left her room’ I whispered

‘Can I go talk to her?’ Daniel asked

‘Yeah, can you tell her were leaving soon to go to the cemetery?’

‘Sure’ Daniel replied

Carla’s P.O.V:

I was sitting in my room at my desk drawing, when someone knocked on my door. I like being alone in my room, by myself. Some say it’s weird, but I’m alone, not lonely.

‘Come in’ I said, speaking loud enough just so the person could hear me

‘Hey, how are you feeling?’ Daniel asked quietly as he walked in and sat on the edge of my bed

‘I’m fine I guess, what are you doing here?’ I asked, saying it ruder than I intended

‘I came to see how you were and to tell you that you’re going to the cemetery soon’

‘Are you coming with us?’ I asked curiously

‘Um, I don’t think so. Only if you and your brothers want me there’

‘I’d liked that’ I responded, forcing a small smile on my face

Daniel and James are some of the only true friends my brothers have, not only are they there from them but there also there for me when I need them. I really didn’t feel like talking but I wanted to open up to someone. My emotional pain physically hurt me. I attended a few counselling sessions straight after mum and dad’s death but I haven’t been since. It helped me a bit to talk about everything that I was going through; I just didn’t feel comfortable talking about it to a stranger. I got up off my chair and leaded Daniel out back into the living room; I was greeted by James who gave me one of his teddy bears hugs. I loved them.

When we arrived at the cemetery, it was a short walk to my parent’s grave. Apparently in their will they stated that they wanted to be buried next to each other, so my nonna and nonno granted their wish. I’d never read the will and it was only recently that I had actually thought about reading it, I suppose not much was really in it but I still was curious. As we approached their graves, I took a look around and to my surprise it the flowers weren’t withered and there were no spider webs on their grave stone. Someone had obviously been there before us. We all stood around in silence until my nonna finally spoke.

‘In loving memory of my beautiful daughter Gina and husband Shane, ten years may have passed but you will forever be in our hearts. It’s been tough without you for all of us but we know you’re in a safe place. We all miss you dearly and wish you could be with us here today. I love you both, forever and always’

My nonno and my brothers started to cry, but I didn’t. The small speech was sad and touching, but I just couldn’t bring myself to cry. I felt strong arms rap around me and I looked behind to see Daniel. He didn’t say a word; he didn’t have to because silence was my loudest cry.