When I'm Gone (Janoskian Fanfic)

Chapter 3

Beau's P.O.V:

After we visited the cemetery, Daniel and James thought it was best if they give us some space so they went their separate ways. When we arrived home, I was angry at Carla and I couldn't help it. She didn't cry when we visited our parent's grave, it annoyed me. It was like she showed no emotion whatsoever, just a straight face through the whole thing. We were all sitting around the dining table when Luke and Jai decided to playfully punch each other, they always do this but today it got on my nerves.

'Will you two fucken stop it' I yelled, everything just went quiet and nobody dared to look me in the eye

'What's wrong with you?' Carla asked

'Maybe it's the fact that it's been 10 years since mum and dad died and you don't even shed a tear at their grave' I answered

'So?'

'Were all going through the same thing, why do you act like you're the only one hurting?' I replied, becoming more annoyed at her attitude and responses by the second

Without saying a thing, Carla got up and walked upstairs. The twins just stared into space until Jai worked up the courage to say something.

'This is killing me, can we just tell her?'

'Are you serious? She's not old enough, nor mature enough to understand. She doesn't talk to anyone about what she's going through and by telling her she's probably going to shut us out completey' I protested

Jai groaned and buried his hands in his face.

'This is such a mess, I wish things were different' He said

'You and me both' I replied

Carla's P.O.V:

I didn't want to fight with Beau, not today, not any day. I walked upstairs to my bedroom when I forgot that I had left my phone at the dining table, I quickly tip toed down the stairs when I heard Jai say 'Can we just tell her?' I stopped walking and backed up a bit so they wouldn't see me. I presumed their conversation was about me so I listened in, after what Beau had said I was taken back. Did he really think I was immature? It hurt to know that my own brother doesn't think he can tell me anything. I completely forgot about grabbing my phone and rushed upstairs, not caring if the boys heard me or not. I shut my bedroom door and raced to my bed, I jumped under the covers and the tears finally started to stream down my face.

I didn't even realise, but I had slowly cried myself to sleep. I woke up about an hour later and check the time, 5pm. Every time I wake up, for a second I think everything's fine and that life is good, until all the painful thoughts and memories come flooding back to me. I didn't feel like getting up so I laid underneath my covers until I heard my door slowly open, I knew it was Luke because he never knocks.

'Carla' he whispered as he came to sit on my bed

I didn't respond, I just wanted him to go away but I knew he wouldn't

'Carla can you just talk to me please, I want to help you' He begged

I slowly started to cry silent tears, I tried my best not to but I couldn't help it. I sniffled and that's when Luke pulled the covers off me and I turned to look at him, not caring what I looked like

'I'm sorry' I cried

Luke just looked and me and pulled me onto this lap where I cried into his jumper. I felt so weak and pathetic, everyone was else was coaping except for me. After a few minutes, there was a patch on his jumper that was soaked and my cheeks were tear stained, I looked up at him and he started playing with my ear.

'This used to stop you from crying when you were little, you wanted mum to come and read you a story before bed and every night for two weeks Beau, Jai and I had to keep telling you that mum wasn't coming back. You started crying and by playing with your ear, it calmed you down and it looks like it still works' He explained

'Can you tell me what's going on in your mind, were all worried about you' Luke asked

'Everything has been so tense around here lately, I've started to think a lot more about what life would've been like if mum and dad were still around and it makes me upset. Nobody makes me feel this way, I do it to myself' I responded, looking down because I felt ashamed but it felt better to talk to someone about it

'You don't have to feel this way, can you promise me one thing?'

'Yeah..' I replied

'Promise me that no matter what you're feeling or what sort of trouble you're in, you'll always come and talk to one of us. We want to help you, we just don't know how'

'I promise.. But can you tell me what you; Beau and Jai were talking about when I supposedly went upstairs?'

'You mean you heard our whole conversation?'

'Most of it, please just tell me I can handle whatever it is'

Luke hesitated for a second and played with his lip ring, I could tell he wasn't quite sure what to say. I put him in an awkward position, but I wanted to know what the boys were talking about.

'Wait here for a minute; I have to talk to Beau and Jai'

He gently pushed me off his lap and walked out of my room, I sat there for a moment contemplating what the boys were talking about earlier. It couldn't be that bad, could it? A few minutes later Luke returned into my room, followed by Beau and Jai. Beau sat on my chair and the twins sat on the edge of my bed, looking extremely nervous.

'What's going on?' I asked curiously

'What were about to tell you, we kept from you for your own good. All three of us love you and don't you ever forget that' Beau said boldly

I started to become a bit worried, I looked at Jai and he just started fiddling with the string of his jumper.

'How did mum and dad die?' Luke asked

'They were in a car accident, a drunk driver hit them on their way back from a business meeting' I responded, unsure of why I was asked such a stupid question

Beau cleared his throat and whispered 'I'm sorry, but that's not what really happened..'