Different (Jack Gilinsky)

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

My eyes groggily open and I hate the fact that I'm awake.

But nonetheless I get up and make my way towards the bathroom where i get dressed and do the usual morning stuff everyone does.

Downstairs I make my breakfast and soon after I'm done eating, Jack knocks on the door and we make our way to his car.

There was a tense feeling in the car and I couldn't understand why. It felt like Jack was holding back. He hadn't said a thing yet and he usually does. Maybe he just wants me to start the conversations off for once.

"So what'd you do with your mom yesterday?" I ask, recalling that he had said they were going somewhere.

He clears his throat but doesn't respond. Almost as if he's thinking of what to say. Something is definitely wrong.

"We went grocery shopping," he finally says and I nod, not saying anything else. My head turns to look out the window and I bite my lip. He's always good at picking up when I'm not okay and he knows what to say. But I on the other hand... Am terrible at comforting. I will most likely pat you very awkwardly on the head in attempts to make you feel better.

A shaky breath leaves my mouth and I speak up again, "I know something is wrong."

"What do you mean? I'm fine," he says and I roll my eyes. He doesn't really know who he's speaking to. I'm fine is the most commonly told lie. At least for me.

"Look, I'm not good at knowing what to say but... You can tell me when you're not okay. I'm not promising I'll know what to say because I won't, but sometimes you just need someone who'll listen," I say and I'm proud of myself for not messing it up.

He sighs and mumbles, "You wouldn't understand."

My gaze instantly meets the side of his perfectly defined face. I knew I wasn't meant to hear that. But I did.

"Why do you say that?" My eyes still hardly set on the side of his face, begging for him to answer. He's always so great at making me feel like I can tell him anything and he can't even say the same for me. What kind of a girlfriend am I?

He parks the car, and I look. We're already at my school. The bell doesn't ring for another 15 minutes though.

"You just wouldn't," he says, his gaze finally meeting mine and my chest tightens. Why doesn't he trust me like I trust him? What is he hiding?

"I'm not very good at this whole... Relationship thing, but I know you're supposed to be able to trust me. What could it possibly be that you can't tell me?" I ask, looking down at my hands.

"You're right," he begins and pauses for a minute. I'm not sure if he's agreeing to me not being good at relationships, or that we should be able to trust each other... Or both.

"I am," I agree nonetheless.

"If there's going to be any progress in our relationship, I should trust you. But please don't freak out on me," he says and I shake my head. "I won't freak out on you. I promise."

"Yesterday," he breaths and my hand goes over to his hand, assuring him that it's okay.

"I didn't go grocery shopping with my mom," he says and I'm slightly worried. What was he doing then? And why'd he lie? And if it wasn't his mom that told him he couldn't go, why did he choose not to come to my house? I promised him I wouldn't freak out though. So I don't. I just listen.

"I was with Jack," he pauses again. I can already guess what he was doing by the look of guilt in his face.

"We smoked," he confirms my thoughts but in all honesty, I don't care about that. What I care about is that he lied.