The Chloenicles #1 [COMPLETE]

Chapter 9: Please, let there be mermaids

He took a deep breath. „Chloe- I am a vampire."
...

Well.
That was a bit of a let down, wasn't it?
I for one had hoped that he was some sort of spy for a government or even better, a former spy gone rouge, a kind of anti James Bond, uncovering corruption, exposing politicians and regimes, sticking it to the man, while not going through women like I was going through black leggings (somebody should invent leggings that do not easily tear by the way, thanks).

But he was just insane.
Plain and simple.
Insane and delusional.
I hoped that I was politically correct with this, but that is what he was.

That was too bad.
I had secretly hoped for an epic adventure full of secrets and action.
I had secretly hoped that I had been sucked into something that would change the world.
But I was just stuck here with an insane person.
I did not really know how to react to this.
It was my first time interacting with somebody so delusional.. that I knew of.
I looked over to Miranda to get any clues as how to conduct myself from her.
She still sat on her bed and she looked completely serious.

I remembered hearing somewhere that you should play along to insane people's delusions to not upset them.
So I tried to stay as calm as possible, nodded and said very slowly: „Of course you are. Thank you for telling me."
I winked at Miranda and mouthed ‚Of course he is' in her direction before I turned around to look for my still missing toothbrush again.
I might be stuck with an insane person who was on the run from who knows whom for who knows what, but hygiene was still important.
„So... you believe me?", Paul Herford asked with cautious excitement in his voice.
„No, she does not."; Miranda answered in my place.
„Yes I do. I believe everything. You guys are vampires.", I used the same slow voice as before, still rummaging for my toothbrush.
I somehow didn't dare to look up.

„No, Chloe, Miranda is human, but I am not! Please believe me? Please?"
For somebody who did not put a lot of effort into letting me know what was going on, he sure was desperate to convince me now.
I just nodded, my eyes still focused on my belongings.
„I am telling you the truth I swear!", Paul Herford took me by the shoulder and tried to turn me around so that I was facing him.
That exhausted my patience. I could not pretend to be okay with this anymore.

„Honey, you're not a vampire!", I said annoyed while pushing him and his hands away from me, „Vampires aren't real! And even if they were you could not possibly be one! You can be in the sunlight and stuff, I saw it the day we first met."
„That is not how vampirism works! It's one of many misconceptions you know!"
I had never seen him so agitated. His face was red and his eyes wide.
„So how does it work then? Do something a vampire would do!", I mocked.
„Because there are so many misconceptions, it will be hard to do that."
„I just hear excuses!", I hissed and brought my face very close to his, „But fine, the next time somebody attacks us, you can just suck their blood and get rid of them and make it easier for us, maybe that will convince me?"
„Vampires have not eaten people in a long time, we don't need the nutrition from the blood anymore since we perfected gluten free and lactose free food." Paul was clearly uncomfortable with having my angry face so close to his but he didn't back away.

„You're not making sense, but fine.", I sat down on my bed again, „If you don't want to eat somebody, then don't. I cannot force you to kill somebody, can I? Well.....", I paused for thought for a second,"Turn into a bat then."
I stared at him expectantly.
He shook his head, defeated. „I'm real, not some myth, Chloe."
„You know", I crossed my legs and pretended to be thinking really hard, „I don't know if you're making fun of me or if you're trying to feed me lame excuses to distract me from what is really going on, or if you're just delusional. I'm thinking the latter, in case you were wondering."
Miranda seemed like she thought about saying something but now, for once, it was my turn to just ignore her and continue as if she was not here.
„For all I know you ran away from the psychiatric facilities and those bodyguards just want to get you back there for your own protection. And even better: What if they were looking for me to protect me from you?"
Paul Herford was clearly at the end of his wits and turned to Miranda.
„Help?", he asked.
She shook her head. „You wanted to tell her. Deal with it."
He looked back at me.
I raised an eyebrow.
„I want to prove it to you!", he said.
„Cool! Just as long as you don't eat me!"
„I told you, we don't eat people anymore. At least we of the CotC don't."
Now that we were in a sharing mood, here at delusional HQ, I decided to find out what one of those annoying acronyms meant.
„What is this CotC you seem to be taking about so much?"
„The Children of the Crown!" When he saw that I still had metaphorical question marks all across my face he added: „The followers of Queen Eliza, the first and hopefully only!"

There was a queen now?
I cupped my face with my hands and shook my head.
This answer did not help me at all.
That was when Miranda decided to chime in. „I think you're making it worse, Paul."
She bit her lip, clearly to hold back laughter.
What was funny about his?

„Miranda, you didn't believe me when I first told you, right? But you said you were convinced that I was telling the truth after we went to the nutrition for vampires symposium for ‚ELIZA weekly' in Rome that time, right? You said seeing a lot of us together, listening to our stories and conversations helped you believe? Maybe Chloe will be convinced when we are at the hot spot, when she can meet more of us?"
Hope had returned to Paul Herefords face.
I could not say the same thing about mine. The hot spot, the two had told me, was supposed to be a safe place. I had assumed that that had meant safe from being tracked down and being attacked by more bodyguards, a place that offered protection. But apparently it meant a safe space for people who shared the same delusions as Paul Herford. A place where they could live them and be themselves.
Not that there is anything wrong with that, everyone deserves a safe space, I just wasn't sure if that was the right the place for me to be at. In a very unselfish way you could say, that me being there and doubting them, made their safe space unsafer.

Miranda's answer interrupted my thoughts. „After Rome I told you that I believed you...."
Paul raised his eyebrows: „But?"
„But, I didn't. Back then, I had similar thoughts to those Chloe has now. I just wanted you to shut up about it already so I told you what you wanted to hear."
„You lied to me?", Paul said like she just shattered his whole world.
She in return did not seem to feel guilty about it. „It seemed like the best thing to do at the time."
„But you believe me now, don't you?"
„Yes, of course!"
„Then what convinced you?"
„When that dude from the AML tortured me to find out more about you, I'd say that that was pretty eye opening."
„You had been working for me for five years already when that happened! And all this time you though I was crazy?"
Miranda nodded. „You needed a bodyguard, I was your bodyguard, no questions asked. I was saving for college and later Michael and I were saving for a house, I needed the job."
Paul Herford looked defeated again. „What now? We can't have Chloe be tortured by the AML now, can we?"

Right about now, I thought, was time to remind them that I was still here and maybe finally find out what the AML was, the both of them seemed to be so obsessed with.
„And the AML is.....?", I asked.
„The Anti Monarchy League.", they answered in unison.