It was 1 am when she emailed me.
It was 1 am when was so scared and alone.
It was 1 am when she was crying in the ICU.
It was 2 am when I arrived.
It was 2 am when she told me she tried to overdose herself.
It was 2 am when she confessed she is scared of living.
It was 3 am when I held her hand, in the dark ICU room.
It was 3 am when she realised she is not ready to give up yet
but she doesn't know how to move on.
It was 3 am when I realised how powerless I am.
It was 4 am when we were both so tired from being beaten up
by the world over and over.
It was 4 am when the Dark Sea got darker
and a Shark started to laugh louder and louder.
It was 4 am when we cried together.
It was 4 am when I knew that tonight would scar our life forever.
It was 5 am when I knew that I too has always wanted to end my life
Because it is too much,
Everything and everything and everything.
But I was also 5 am I realised I don't want her to give up
And It was 5 am I realised that maybe I don't want to give up too.
It was 6 am when I told her that I want her with me
In this dark world that has blinded our heart.
It was 6 am when I told her that through the dark, I will walk with her.
It was 6 am when I told her about hope,
a foreign word that I am yet to grasp its meaning.
It was 6 am when she listened.
It was 7 am when I told her about the flickering lights that I always see on top of the Dark Sea.
It was a beautiful group of stars, so far, and impossible to reach.
It was 7 am when I lied to her that we can reach those stars.
It was 7 am when I tried to convince us
that after this cold dark path of trauma,
we will reach the end of the tunnel
that we do not even realise we are in.
And that is where the light of hope are waiting for us,
and it will be worth it.
It was 7 am when I knew
that I wanted to believe in my own words too.
It was 8 am when most of the drugs got out her system.
It was 8 am when people in white started saying congratulation.
It was 8 am when the sun started to rise.
we cannot see it from the dark ICU room,
But we understood the sun symbol on our weather app.
It was 8 am when we had survived until dawn.
