Reunited (A Miraculous Ladybug Romance)

24: Confessions

7/3/18

 Marinette knew she shouldn't be feeling this way, but that simple fact did not keep her heart from squeezing, painfully deep within her chest. The fact that Adrien had once been in love with another girl shouldn't change anything; that was in the past - it didn't have anything to do with their current relationship.

But as soon as Marinette thought those things, she knew her reasonings simply were not true. Of course a past love would affect their relationship now. He could still be in love with her, and to what extent, Marinette had to find out.

Marinette lowered her hand, placing it on Adrien's chest. His heart was pounding, and Marinette could only guess that this particular topic of conversation put him in great distress.

"What do you mean you lost her?" She asked in a coarse whisper.

Adrien closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. After a few moments pause, he opened them once again and said, "We went our separate ways. It wasn't as if I had any kind of claim on her. The one time I tried to confess, she told me that she was in love with another guy."

Marinette shifted, moving herself off of Adrien's lap. She had once done the same exact thing to Chat.

"Even knowing that I never stood a chance, my heart broke from knowing I would most likely never see her again."Adrien leaned his head over, resting it on Marinette's shoulder and grabbed on to her hand.

"I know that it might sound stupid," he continued, "but my first few years of college were really hard. I was so lonely and caught up in my own laments that I couldn't allow myself to make any new friends. Of course I had Nino, but he was all the way back here, in Paris."

Marinette gently rubbed the top of Adrien's head, the comforting scent of his shampoo wafting to her nose. She wanted to say something - to let Adrien know his sadness hurt her, but she kept quiet, listening to what he had to say.

"It's not like I didn't talk to anyone. For a while I deluded myself into thinking that I had actually made friends. But I never actually made an effort to talk to anybody outside of class. I spent my time studying or playing video games alone,cleverly convincing myself that I didn't have time to actually do anything else."

Adrien let go of Marinette's hand and turned around so that he could lay his head down in her lap, motioning for her to keep scratching his head.

"Need my rest, you know," Adrien grinned, "doctors orders."

"Of course," Marinette replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Continue on patient."

"Well," he continued, as if he had never made a break in the conversation, "at some point, I'm not sure exactly when, I started opening up to people and letting them see my punny side. It was the first time that I had been totally free from my father like that and totally out of the public eye. I learned that I enjoyed being able to openly speak my mind and often found myself acting out of impulse, rather than my father's demands."

"I feel like I truly found myself, or least unlocked a part that had been hidden, something that I had been too afraid earlier to let outside. I ended up making friends and actually allowed myself to have a good time."

Marinette sat shocked, staring intently into Adrien's eyes. She had always known Adrien's father had been a bit overbearing, many times barring him from even leaving the house, but she hadn't known Adrien had felt so trapped, never allowing himself to show his true self. It was heartbreaking; he had always seemed so happy - she wished she had known.

"That's awesome Adrien," Marinette mustered the courage to say, "I'm so glad that you were able to enjoy yourself like that, even after losing someone."