Dear Name

4: Diary

The two of you soon started for Jin's house, but somewhere along the way, Bambam's mother had called and requested for him to be back at home right away. You didn't know why, but Bambam gave you the directions to Jin's house in case you didn't remember before leaving, and you thanked him for that.

After a bit of walking, the surroundings became more and more familiar to you. Before you moved to America, you used to visit Jin's house a lot. Jin was the one with more intellect, so you normally went to him for help with homework or studying. You quickened your pace, knowing that his house was near.

Before long, you had reached his front steps. Clutching the present in your hand, your heartbeat increased as you made your way up the steps. You lightly rapped your knuckles against the wooden door of his home.

When the door finally opened, his mother stood there with a shocked expression. She undoubtedly recognized you, for she had treated you like her very own whenever you came over. She never minded and always welcomed you whenever you came over to their house. She was literally, a second mother to you.

"Y/N... I would've never thought to see this beautiful face on my doorsteps again..." His mother's voice cracking as she threw her arms around you. Droplets of pure joy and happiness slid down her cheeks, and your eyes became watery as you took in her familiar scent— one that reminded you deeply of Jin, but completely unique and different. "It's been so long."

"Mrs. Kim... I've missed you so much, you have no idea," you returned. She pulled away and cupped your cheeks, tilting your face upwards so she could get a clear glimpse at you. "You've matured so much, you're so pretty now!" She complimented with a laugh, with you scoffing and declining the statement.

"The same to you. Did you dye your hair?" You inquired as you noticed that her hair was now a deep red. She nods slowly.

"Yes, I have. Do you like it?" She giggles.

"Of course! It looks wonderful on you!" You honestly stated, meaning every single word.

"Haha, thank you!" She pauses.

"You're here for Seokjin, right?" She smiled knowingly.

"Uh... yeah."

"Of course. Jin will be so elated to know that you're back. Ever since the day you moved out, you've never slipped his mind," his mother said with a sigh. "Sometimes I wonder if he secretly feels something towards you..." You blush and look away, embarrassed as she winked.

"Jin is out for an errand, so he'll be back soon," his mother added. "You can leave your belongings on the sofa." You nodded as if to say thanks and dropped your backpack off.

"Can I... go into his room?"

"Of course, I'm sure he wouldn't mind." You carried the keychain that the cashier had put into a case upstairs to his room, and you slowly crept through the door.

Jin's room was as organized as always, and everything was exactly how you've remembered it. He's gotten a set of new blankets and pillows, but other than that, the desks, bookshelf and huge collection of trophies that was proof of his outstanding achievements were in the exact same place. You ran your fingertips lightly over his desk, remembering the days when the two of you would study on this very table. Inhaling the air of the room, you could smell Jin's scent ever so slightly, and it reminded you of how much you craved his presence. His voice. His laughter.

A small notebook had caught your eye, snapping you from your thoughts. Not able to contain your curiosity, you grabbed it and moved your hand to flip the page. Your hand suddenly froze as you began having second thoughts.

Wait, would Jin want this?

Would he want me to peek into his thoughts?

I don't want to anger him—

It was as if there was a devil on one of your shoulders, beckoning for you to open the notebook, while there was an angel on your other shoulder, telling you to do what's right and putting down the notebook. However, the temptation was too strong, and the devil seems to cheer triumphantly while the angel sulks as it failed to convince you. You opened the notebook and read the first page, which was apparently a note from his doctor that gave him this notebook. As you had suspected, you had just opened Jin's diary.

Not looking back, you continued flipping page after page, skimming and reading through all of this thoughts that he poured into this book. However, you soon come across a page that enticed you. Your eyes skimmed over the date of the entry, which was...

The day you left for America four days ago.

The words that were seemingly written with a pen were smeared with drops of some type of liquid— you assumed it was his tears— and the handwriting was messy, but you still recognized it. It looked like he had scribbled his words down, for it wasn't written as neatly as his previous ones. He had listed the features of this person, describing their face, hobbies, interests, and everything else about them.

Strangely, the descriptions of their hobbies, interests, and favorite things were the exact same as yours. You had been obsessed with a band, and he had described that on the page with the same exact artist. Your favorite food, fruit, and color were also listed as their favorites. Your suspicion only grew as you read his descriptions of the person's appearance— their dark brown hair that grew lighter at the tips, their small lips and long eyes. You turned your head to the mirror, and found that all those things applied to you.

Deep inside, you envied the person Jin was describing in his diary, someone he claimed he missed oh-so dearly, someone that had such a significant influence in his life. He had written down every detail of them, and he must've been listening to them very attentively to catch all of these other things about them.

Brushing the thought off, you flipped the page to find another entry. It was written in a form of a letter, but he did not address the person's name.

Rather, it began with "Dear Name".