Severus Talks - Severus Snape (COMPLETE)

The Umbrage of Umbridge

Severus had had a rotten summer. Dumbledore knew this. So did Poppy. They'd been there to drag him from Hogsmeade to the castle and wrap him in cotton wool until it was time for school to begin again. 

He knew they lived in dark times. Hagrid was travelling to find giants with Madame Maxime before the Death Eaters did, Lupin was busy reinstating the Order of the Phoenix with Black, and the three other heads of houses were preoccupied preparing for one toad's arrival.

*

Dolores Jane Umbridge was a despicable woman. Severus had encountered her before at the Ministry. She had been a fool dressed in pink. And the bow had done nothing to sweeten her presence.

"Hem hem," was her trademark cough. Minerva had been known to impersonate this on many occasions. It was traditionally used whenever one wanted to mock the ministry member which was, to say, always. It was the highlight of Severus' day, discrediting Dolores. They poked fun at her in front of students, and were perfectly demeaning. 

*

"What I find funniest," Severus commented loudly one evening in the staff room, Minerva listening rapturously, "is that Dolores Umbridge is in fact a half-blood."

Minerva laughed. Filius gave him an incredulous look.

"Are you sure?" He asked squeakily.

Minerva nodded.

"It's all on the records," she replied.

"And my mother went to school with her," Severus added bitterly.

"Went to school with whom?" Came a voice from the doorway.

Severus didn't spare the new arrival a glance as he replied.

"A particularly annoying Slytherin," was his answer.

"Would that be you?" Questioned the voice snidely.

"No," snapped Snape. "It would be you, Dolores."

There was an extremely pronounced 'hem hem'. Severus turned and glared at the pink monstrosity.

"Did you even have to ask?" Minerva muttered under her breath. Pomona stifled a laugh and Filius looked even more intrigued by the book on his lap.

"I heard that!" The monster exclaimed.

"So get out," drawled Severus. "You're not wanted. Stultify the minister with your words."

"What does that mean?" Asked Umbridge.

Severus rolled his eyes. Minerva turned to the DADA professor herself.

"It means that Fudge'll be asleep in seconds if you open your mouth," she translated drily.

The beady eyes grew large.

"I'll report you - all of you!" She threatened. "There'll be_"

"_No teachers left in this school," finished Poppy. "We know."

"I was going to say no more treachery, deceit and lies!" The woman huffed.

Severus gazed into the distance.

"Blood hath been shed ere now, i' the olden time,

Ere humane statute purged the gentle weal;

Ay, and since too, murders have been perform'd

Too terrible for the ear."

Umbridge gave a short cry of outrage and stormed out. Four eyes slowly came to rest on the young Potions Master.

"What was that?" Asked Pomona pointedly.

"Shakespeare," Filius guessed.

Minerva snorted. "Macbeth, Act Three, Scene Four."

Severus laughed quietly. "Completely unrelated. But it got rid of the swine."

"Language," Minerva coughed.

Poppy eyed the Deputy Headmistress. "Says you."

"No need to mention that, Poppy," Minerva said hastily.

"Well, there is. For the record, Minerva said_"

Poppy's words were drowned out as Severus waved a languid hand at the gramophone, which began playing loud, harmonious classical music, and did not miss the grateful glance Minerva sent him.

*****

A.N. Shakespeare features. 

'Why would Severus know Shakespeare?' I hear you ask.

"Of course Severus knows Shakespeare. He's a genius. Deal with it."

Also, if you recognise the title, that's because I've used it another story. If you don't, go and check out The Purist!! XD

Thank you for reading and PLEASE COMMENT - I'll be a lot nicer than usual if you do!!!!!