For a month and a half now I've done nothing but stay in bed all day. I didn't watch tv, bother with social media on my phone. I ate away my feelings or starved myself. I didn't even call my parents to know that I was back in LA. The mere thought of letting my parents know I was back in America terrified me. I didn't want them to know that Hobi and I separated and filed for divorce. They would just lecture me and tell me to work things out. I was scared to face my parents reactions. They've been married for almost 30 years and somehow managed to still love and care for each other. I wanted to be like them but I guess that will never happen.
I decided to call my parents because I need someone to talk to but mindfull not to spill the beans. I pick up my phone and dialed the number to my parents. The phone rang for quite some time and I almost gave up until I heard my father's voice.
"Hello. May I ask who's calling"
"H-h-hey Dad. It's Me Y/N." I say struggling to hold back my tears
"Oh Y/N! I'm so glad to hear from you! Honey Y/N is on the phone!" I hear my dad yell for my mom
"How are you sweetheart? We haven't heard from you in months. I see the boys have gotten popular now that they're the first kpop group to win the BBMAS. How are you and Hoseok doing?" My father ask, unaware of how agonizing it was to talk about our divorce.
"Umm it's...hard to explain" I say clutching my phone
"What do you mean sweetheart?" My father ask with a concern
"Dad, when you married my mom, did you ever had feelings for another woman?" I ask hesitantly
"No. Never. She was the only one who captured my heart. You know that sweetheart. Why do you ask?"
"Hmm it's just that....I really can't tell you. I'm to afraid to tell you both"
I hear my mother in the distance asking to talk to me. I hear ruffling sounds and soon after my mother's voice had made it's appearance.
"What happened, Y/N? Did you two get into a heated argument?"
"He was acting so angry and distant towards me for three months ever since he worked with Alex. He came home late every day. He was keeping secrets from me and even told the boys not to tell me anything. He left home every morning at 3am that I had to sneak into our own room to shower and get dressed. I felt like a criminal around him. Whenever I tried to do my job he wouldn't let me.I-I don't know how to come forth about this but...I filed for divorce. I signed my name and gave it to him to sign it and to take it back to the courthouse. I'm so sorry! I thought we would be together like you and dad!" I cry out, My stomach and heart felt like thorns telling them about what I've done. "I loved him so much but he changed. I didn't marry a stranger!"
"Why didn't you call us to talk to us about this!? I know deep down in his heart he still loves you. Maybe you should go back and reconcile with him." He would never hurt you." My mother pleads but I couldn't handle the fact that the conversation was making the situation worse.
"That's not going to work. My manager told me that when a person is so in love, it hurts sometimes. That a love that strong should not be kept hidden and something about what lies behind that love is a hidden message; a special gift, that is waiting to be opened."I push back a huge bundle of my hair, letting it fall on my shoulders, and plop on the bed "That message still doesn't make sense to me, mom. I tried everything and nothing worked. I quit working for Big Hit because of it and moved back to LA. I gave him back the wedding ring and he already signed it! In know he signed it. It's too late." I sink into the bed, clutching my blanket like a sad and lonely child.
"In my heart I don't believe he's fallen out of love with you and you didn't fall out of love with him. When you two got married there was this spark in him that said he wanted and was willing to spend the rest of his life with you. He may have changed because he was afraid to tell you what he really feels on the inside. But it's up to you to understand that message Y/N." The sound of my mother's soothing voice calmed me down but I was still conflicted.
Tears were on the brink of pouring out of my eyes so I knew I had to get off the phone as quickly as possible "I'm sorry. I'm sorry to both of you. I love you both so much" I'll...talk to you soon"
"We love you too sweety. Trust me, he does love you"My mother says sweetly and the sound of click follows afterwards.
I hang up the phone and place it on the dresser on the left side of me. Not wanting to see it or touch it for a while. It was 12 pm. It was a month until I started my new job as a receptionist for a music company, so I needed to look and feel my best before working. I decided to use my time by taking a walk at the park, two blocks away from. I put on some light sweat pants and a plain t shirt with black and white sneakers. I grab a cup of fruit and a bottle of water, my phone and put on my music playlist and left the apartment.
I arrived to the park. The weather was beautiful, the air was slightly cool and breezy and the small of fresh cut grass, and growing honey suckle somehow made me feel at peace. The park was not crowded so I was able to walk around the park without any worry. After walking for about 45 minutes I decided to sit down on the bench and eat my snack. I lean back and watch the birds chirping and flying in all directions. The sound of children playing, laughing while holding on to their parents hands brought warm and pain into my heart. I wanted to have a loving and happy family with Hobi one day and it tears m heart to know that it will never happen.
It was around 1:45 pm and I decided to go back home and take a shower and read afterwards. I walk into the house and put my things away and head upstairs to my room, got undressed, grab a one dress pajamas and head into the shower. After I finished my shower I wrap a towel around me, my hair still wet from the shower, and and sat at the edge of the bed to get dressed. Before I could get dressed I hear the door bell ring. I let out a sigh because I didn't want to be bothered at the moment and at the same time I forgot I was expecting mail from the music company I'm going to be working for. I get my light blue robe from the bathroom and quickly wrap it around me, put on my slippers and went downstairs.
The door bell rang for the third time before I reached the door. I doubled checked to make sure my robe was fully covering my body before asking who was at the door.
"Who is it, please?"
"I..i..it's me" I heard a deep low voice which I could barely make out.
"I'm sorry. I can't hear you!" I say slightly louder but he doesn't respond back. I look through the peep whole only to see a man with a white hat on his head, his head hanging low in front of the door.
I unlock the locks and opened the door slowly. The man lifts his head up and I almost drop to the ground in disbelief. Why is he here and how did he even find me?
YOU ARE READING
The Regret(Editing)
General Fiction"You know what I've decided? I want a divorce!" You and Jung Hoseok, aka Jhope from the well known Kpop group BTS, have been married for three and a half years . You worked for Big Hit since 2013 as a translator and assistant manager for BTS. Your...
