The Regret(Editing)

Why Does Love Hurt?

Hoseok's Past POV

The day we performed our comeback was beautiful but a secret nightmare. I couldn't stop thinking about Y/N and the way her face looked when Alex came up to me with the green bag in her hands and gave it to me, the night before. The gift was thoughtful, but it didn't stop me from caring about the one thing I loved most, which was Y/N. Normally when I get gifts from fans I keep them stored away nicely, whether at Big Hit or where we keep our trophies but this time I didn't keep it. I gave it to a lucky fan who was hospitalized for a rare illness.

When we were getting ready for our comeback performance on that day, I was getting worried about jagiya. She was running back and forth none stop to check and make sure that everything was in order. She looked drained, tired and needed to rest. I wanted to come up to her and tell her that everything was going to be alright and that she was doing a good job, but I was occupied myself. 

After we finished our performance,I couldn't wait to hold jagiya and tell her happy I was. I wanted to thank her, hold her and kiss her for all she has done to make this comeback a great one. I was sitting on the chair, getting my hair fixed and getting sweat patted off my face. I saw jagiya through the mirror and a big smile formed on my face. I get up from my seat, coming to her with my arms wide open for her until Alex jumps in and takes the hug that was specifically for Y/N. My heart dropped the moment she stopped in her tracks and looked at me with a pained expression on her face. Jagiya then walks out, still leaving me with Alex wrapped around me, as I pretend to be just as excited and happy as her. About fifteen minutes have passed and our manager comes in to tell us to get ready for the dinner that evening. The boys and I got dressed into our suits and left while I stayed behind. I sat on the chair with my head down. I hear a footsteps coming from behind me and I turned around, expected to see jagiya but it was Alex. 

"Hey Hobi. You look sharp. I bet Y/N is going to be so happy to see you in this!" She says gleefully

"Thanks...you look great too" I half smiled

"You look down. You were just happy not too long ago"

I let out a sign and turn myself to her "Look. I know you're friendly, kind and you have an undying talent and all but...my wife is becoming jealous of you."

"Why would she be jealous!? She's hardworking and puts her life and soul not only to you but to this company. I'm the one that should be" 

"It's because she has her own insecurities that only I can understand. You're a bit too affectionate towards me and I have to admit..it make me uncomfortable. Of course  it's always a pleasure working with you... but I want to make jagiya happy...and I want to give her my all. So please refrain from giving me gifts or the like. I only want us to be great colleagues." I say to her and look for an approval

"I'm so sorry you felt that way! I can be super affectionate without realizing it! I mean't no harm at all. I understand you want to make her happy. I can tell by how you two care and love each other. That's what I like about her, she's dedicated and loves the whole company as if it were second family." 

I put my head down again, my legs beginning to shake "T-t-thank you. I'm glad you understand. It hurts me to see her this way, which angers me even more...There's one thing I want you to promise me" I say choking on my words.

She comes to me and places her hand on my shoulder "Hoseok, why are you getting upset"

"I made this promise not only for you, but it's for the boys, PD, and everyone else at Big Hit to know as well....It's going to hurt me more than Y/N so please promise me. Promise me you won't tell Y/N"

"Of course! What is it?"

My rub the bridge of my nose before looking at her "I don't want to hurt jagiya but I have to because I love her so much. I don't want to put her through much hurt for the next couple of months...she's going to hate me and I can't tell why in the mean time" I say clenching my fist.

She sighs a little "Just tell me and I'll do everything I can to help"

20 minutes later

I sat there anxiously, still thinking about what I was doing and why. I was looking at my phone, staring at a picture of our wedding vows. I read it over and over again until I heard footsteps approaching me. I knew it was jagiya but I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

She approaches and and wrap her arms around me, but I never looked away from my phone. She pecked him on the cheek but I didn't return it back.

"Jagia...please."I say lowly

"What's wrong? You seem upset. You were just in a good mood earlier. What happ-

"Honey please! I'm not in the mood," I rest my elbows on my thighs and hold my face using my now free hands. I could feel the fear just by how she stepped back. I never raised my voice at her ever and it scared me. She gently placed her hand on my back and start rubbing me back gently. She was so nervous her hands were  practically shaking. I turn around and gets off the chair and walks past her and she yells for me.

"Hobi! What's with you? Why don't you just tell me right here? Why are you acting like this?" She  yells at me. I look back and walk to her with anger and pain in my eyes. My body shook vigorously. My thoughts instantly were focused on the many apologies I planned and wanted to give to her, now and after this is was all over. I was about to say something when Jungkook runs into the room and stands there, mouth open, confused as to what was going on.

"Umm...it's time to get ready for the dinner celebration. You should start dressing up. We're about to leave in 20 minutes."

"Thank you Jungkook. We'll be out in a minute" Y/N thanked him. Jungkook stares at me, hesitates for a moment and then leaves. She turns to face me again but I was already getting my things from the headstand. She approaches me to help me but I swipes my hand away and leave the dressing room. 

I walked out of the building where I met with the rest of the boys who were standing in front of the van. 

"Hoseok, you look upset...It's about noona isn't it?" Jimin says

I scratch my head in frustration "Yeah. I don't know how long I can go on with this. I can already feel it eating away at me" 

"I only know half the promise you told us and I already feel hurt" Jungkook cuts in.

"I'm hurt that Jin ate the last of the kimchi we had at home" Yoongi says under his breathe and is slapped in the head by Jin.

"Yah! It's the truth! You sneaked into the fridge last night! I saw you!" Yoongi shouts at Jin

"Can you all just stop. We're grown men. We shouldn't be arguing about something so ridiculous while Hoseok is hurting." Namjoon says angrily

"Sorry Namjoon...Anyways where's Tae" Jin looks around in search for him.

"He's probably looking for a part in Cypher 5" Yoongi mumbles and is hit in the head by Jin again

"Yah! Ok! I'll stop!" He says shielding his head with his hands.

" I see him! He's fixing his tie near PD's car. Oh there's Soonmin and noona" Jimin points to them

I look over to them and my eyes instantly fall to Y/N. She looked so perfect in that burgundy dress. The way the color brought out her eyes and skin was enough to make me sink. It was staring at a beautiful painting. I wanted so badly to go up to her and tell her how beautiful she looked but I couldn't bring myself to, so I just stood there and smiled.

"Since you want to joke around how about you go and tell noona how beautiful she looks!" Jin says pushing him forward.

"Ok fine! You don't have to push me like that, Jin" Yoongi glares back at Jin and proceeds to walk to Soonmin and Y/N.

As I stood there watching Tae, Yoongi, Soonmin and jagiya talk, I constantly asked myself

Why am I doing this? Love shouldn't hurt, but why does it?