I woke up to the sweet silent sounds of the ocean waves and the cool beach air brushing against my body. I open my eyes to see a beautiful orange and purple sunrise and push myself up against the headboard of the bed. I look to my left to see Tae was not in the bed. He probably went to the kitchen to make breakfast so I got out of the bed, gather my clothes from what I wore last night, my purse with my phone and charger inside, and went to the bathroom.
I turn on the shower and adjusted the temperature until it felt no longer too hot or too cold and hopped in. I lather some soap and began to wash all parts of my body. But for some reason my heart felt like my heart was tearing into two as I started at the ring the Tae had given me. My heart still stung at the mere thought of Hobi. I still loved him but I also love Tae, but not as much as I loved Hobi. I feel like the invisible string, that connects Hobi and I, is still there, almost like breaking a rock or breaking an unbreakable spell.
I was not thinking clearly when I finally said yes to marrying him. It felt like I was finally getting back the love I've been wanted to have back because I wanted that same feeling I had when Hobi had proposed to me. Why didn't I fight back when I first slept with Tae? Why did I even let him have me more than once? Why I was vulnerable beneath him? But why was he putting his heart and soul into me? I don't want to break Taehyung's heart by telling him I didn't want to marry him. I honestly felt forced and all too sudden. I was afraid to tell him I still loved Hobi because it hurts to see him hurting when I do bring it up. How am I supposed to lie to him if I can't be honest with him at all? This time I think it was best for me to tell him. I can't marry Tae....not until I give myself some time to think and decide and to get some closer, especially since the concert is in a few days.
After showering I put on my clothes, toss away the wash and dry towels in the bin and head to the kitchen to find Tae. I look to the corner to see Tae cooking in the kitchen, already dressed. He hears the sound of me entering and looks up at me, his hair covering his forehead and a little bit of his eyes.
"Hey Y/N! Look, I"m making lemon blueberry pancakes that Jin taught me how to make!" He says tilting the pan to I can see them.
"Those look amazing!" I say with a slight chuckle. I can feel the inside of my stomach turning into knots the more nervous I became.
"I'm almost done. Oh here some hot green tea!" He says grabbing the mug of the counter in front of him and taking it to me.
I grab the mug and smile at him before he goes back to the pancakes "Thank you." I say as I sip the tea. "I'll go sit outside and wait for you" I say as I step out of the beach house and go to the front porch. I sit on front of the white beach table and sat on the chair and stared at the ocean as the reflection of the sun rippled on the waves. It felt like my brain was about to give out the more I think about what to say to Taehyung. It was deteriorating me inside and out and I didn't know how to think. As I continue to stare into the now bright sunny sky, Tae comes out with two plates of food and sets them down on the table and then sits down.
"It's a really nice day, right?" He grins at the sun
"I-i-it is." I stutter
He takes a quick glance as me and his face changes "What's the matter Y/N?" he asks with a concern tone
"Nothing. It's a little chilly out this morning. Don't worry" I say as I take a bit of the lemon blueberry pancakes.
"Are you sure? You seemed...out of it when you came in the kitchen."
"It's probably just the wine we drank from last night. I think it was too strong for me" I nervously chuckle.
"Yeah it probably was. Sorry" He chuckles, brushing his hair with his hands nervously.
"No, it's ok. It'll pass soon"
"Just let me know of anything...Looks like we're going to have to finish this breakfast pretty quickly. I have to get back with the members to start rehearsal" He signs
"Tae...when do you plan on telling the members and everyone at Big Hit that.."
"That we're engaged? I was actually going to tell them after the LA concert. I just want the company and the members to adjust to the news after we come back to Korea" He says smiling at me as he picks up the plates. "Why do you as, Y/N?" He says, as he heads into the beach house and I follow behind.
"I just thought that with the whole divorce thing and all that has happened it would be kind of...awkward" I say leaning against the wall.
"That's why I want to wait after, silly" He grins at me as he washes the dishes
"I'm going to the concert in a few days, so don't you think it's right to tell them when I'm there?" I say lowly
He puts the dishes away and froze at the sudden question"....No" he says lowly
"Oh...OK then...Tae..there's something I need to talk to you about" I say, nervously biting my lower lip.
"We can talk about this later Y/N. I have to take you home so I can get to rehearsals on time" He says as he gathers his things. I slightly sigh out of frustration and fear as I head to the door and put on my shoes. He opens the door for me and we head to his car. Once we get we put on our seat belts and begin the drive back to my house.
It was a quiet drive back to my house. My body shook the more I looked at him. I was so afraid to tell him about how I felt about the engagement. I was afraid to tell him the truth because I feared of breaking his heart. I don't know where my heart will go if I were to actually marry Taehyung. This whole things just didn't seem right to me.
We reached the apartment building and we head our way up to my floor. Once to the floor I opened the door and let ourselves in. Before I could walk any further, I look back at Tae, who was standing in front f the door.
"I'll come back later on today after rehearsals. I would say to come and watch us but PD and the managers really wants us to practice for this show....and you'll just be a distraction" He smirks, pecking me on the cheek.
I but on my best smile to hide the fact that I was still worried about everything "I'll be right here waiting for you then"
"See you later...Jagiya" He says to me and he closes the door.
I gasp and choke at the sudden words that I just heard, as another short memory of Hobi passes by me, and I find myself on the floor, gasping and crying. I can't let the marriage happen!
Did he just call me...Jagiyah?
YOU ARE READING
The Regret(Editing)
General Fiction"You know what I've decided? I want a divorce!" You and Jung Hoseok, aka Jhope from the well known Kpop group BTS, have been married for three and a half years . You worked for Big Hit since 2013 as a translator and assistant manager for BTS. Your...
