HATING TO LOVE THE BAD BOY

chapter 10

the fourth period was English , yet another class I shared with chad . Two days ago he made the girl sitting next to me move to another seat . I didn't know whether he would sit next to me after  today's fiasco. but a part of me wanted him to , a part of me that wanted so badly to repair this friendship or what ever it is that we have going on ...Then again I shouldn't let my guard down because well it's chad the infamous bad boy or better yet reject . he's the boy that has literally slept with every girl in town ,  he always gets into fights and he goes to parties all the time , once I over heard someone say he's smoked pot before ...that is a lot for a seventeen year old boy .

English went by quick and he didn't even bother to show up  , I can't say I'm surprised he doesn't seem like the type to show up to all his classes . I've been staring at the clock for the last 40 minutes and when the bell rings I jump out of my seat and leave the classroom , I just need to get the guilt off my chest but I do want to keep him close you know just in case I need to uhm you know stare into his beautiful eyes or something .

I made my way out of the school building and made my way to the sports feild where I saw a figure dressed in black down by the bleachers so assumed it was him . and seems my assumption was correct , when I got closer I could see smoke coming out of his mouth and a cigarette in his hand .

I sat down next to him and he did not speak . he didn't even glance at me , he just stared out into the empty field .

"so you smoke ?" I asked attempting to break the silence .

he did not reply he just kept on looking at the field , as he took another drag of his cigarette . " I'll take that as a yes " I move closer to him until our bodies are inches apart .

" okay look I'm sorry , I don't know what happened back there I fell and you were asking me questions and I've just been through so much and I wasn't thinking straight . I kind of just said things that I didn't mean to say , I really would like you to talk to me or be my uhm friend again or something and-"

I'm cut off by his hand covering my mouth , "can you shut the fuck up?" I didn't reply  but I gave him a slow nod willing to co-operate . he slowly removed his hand from my mouth and looked back onto the field while taking the cigarette back into his mouth and taking yet another drag .

we sat in silence for the next few minutes and I'm reminded about my next class  which is spanish , I'm dead if I'm late . I quickly scramble around and I stand up about to leave .

" stay" he says his voice barely audible . "what ?" I ask , unsure if I heard him correctly . " I said stay" he replies back in a low hush sound , his voice is a bit raspy  but it sounds sexy as hell .' you like him don't you ? ' my subconscious  teases , but I shrug it off and I leave the thought to ponder in the back of my head .

his behaviour is beginning to scare me , I don't know how he is taking this or how he feels and it's not settling well with me . It's the worst thing to know you've said something hurtful to someone  and not have them and not have display feelings of any sort . it's almost inhumane  .

"okay" I reply and sit down taking down a mental note to scold myself later for skipping class.

we sit in silence for another few minutes . " do you hate me ?" he asks ,his eyes distant and darker than usual . the question took me by surprise and  I didn't expect him to even come across the thought of me hating him  , I haven't been that bad of a person have I ?

" what ? no , why would you ask me something like that?"

" you should " he says not even loud enough for me to hear . but I heard him.

" why ?  why should I hate you?" I ask puzzled by his previous reply 

"what did you think ? that I was your friend or something ? " he half laughs and I don't know what to say about that , I don't even know why I considered him a friend  " you're an okay kid but I definitely wasn't looking for some kind of friend , people like me don't need friends , I'm sorry but I'm afraid you got the wrong idea , you're obviously not an easy lay "

" what do you mean an easy lay ? " I ask almost half shriek .

"oh Lorianne " he half laughs " I mean you're obviously not the kind of girl who would let me bend her over the table at the back of library and let me fuck her senseless , that's what I mean by an easy lay "

I don't know how to take his words I'm stunned at his reply I mean is that all he was looking for, is that the only reason he was nice to me ? I mentally face-palm myself , of course that's all I was to him I wasn't even remotely close to being his friend or anything , I was one of his litte games and that is the only reason why he was so nice to me ?

" oh" is all I can manage to say I'm at a loss for words and I don't think there's any word in the english language that can help me tell him what I feel about him playing nice to get into my pants .

" but if you don't mind I will take  you up on those lessons , I still need help in biology. " I could sense an uneasiness in his voice .

" fine.  I'll meet you in the library"  is all I can manage to say  . I don't even know what I expected honestly , that's the kind of person he is and I don't know why I was blinded by his kindness , of course he didn't want to be my friend what was I thinking ? 

the fact that he said everything without even looking at me is an indication of how shallow he is .

I stand up and leave before he can stop me again. I practically run back into the school .

before I know it I'm in the bathroom  crying my heart out I don't even know why I am crying , I shouldn't even care that he doesn't want to be my friend and that he was only being nice to me to get laid  , I don't want to be his friend , like he said before people like him don't have friends .

I spend the rest of the day in a tiny stall in the ladies room . I should probably go to class but I'm drained and I'm afraid that I might fall apart in front of everyone because evidently I've been a bit too emotional lately .

when the bell rings for the end of the day I exit the stall and go home .