HATING TO LOVE THE BAD BOY

chapter 12

empty , empty is all I felt. the movie ended 3 hours ago and I've been staring at the blank screen . There's something that I didn't want to admit to myself and now here I am letting it consume me fully and the thing I didn't want to admit is that I have a crush on chad hood .

I have a crush on chad hood and I've been denying it even though the signs were all there , the way I would stare at him while he wasn't looking , the way I'd laugh at every stupid joke he made , the way his eyebrows knitted together when is was trying to concentrate ,the way that he wears black everyday and the way his green eyes light up when he smiles always fascinated me .

and now I'm here , he stole my first kiss and walked away like it was nothing when it meant the world to me . I'm not only angry , I'm heartbroken . the first boy I've ever had a crush on is the biggest jerk I've ever met and he just took away a moment I was supposed to share with someone who likes me back .

I feel a light breeze pour into the room and when I look for the source it turns out to be the window right behind the sofa . I stand up and close it , and I sit right back where I was I have an internal argument on whether I should go upstairs  and sleep or whether I should stay downstairs and sulk . I ended up going for a walk , it was very late and dark out but I didn't really care . I'm still in my pajamas and I could give less of a crap about who sees me .

I ended up 3 blocks away from my house , but I kept on walking and I found myself across the street from some frat house , there are some drunk college kids on the front lawn , red cups on the street and dozensof cars parked along the side , but the sight of a familiar black vintage cadillac catches my eye .

I stand there for a while almost dumbfounded looking for a reason why chad would be at a college party .

I spot chad  walking out of the house with a blond haired girl in his arms , my knees start to wobble as soon as I make out who it is . It's chad and Charlie  , together .

I turn on my heel and I walk away before either of them can see me . I don't think I would be able to bare the embarrassment of either of them seeing me .

I finally get to my house and when I check the time on my phone it's 02:38 am .

I should probably go to sleep and at least try and forget about today .

.......

Friday

today was Friday , the last day of the school week . I'm always a week or two ahead with my school work so I really don't have to go seeing that I've already tarnished my perfect attendance .

I decide to stay home , when my mom comes I can always fake a cold and get her to write me a sick note .

I make some cereal and I sit in the kitchen to eat it , half way through my cereal I hear the door open , I'm too tired to stand up , if it's a murderer then this will definitely be one unlucky week for me.

nope ,turns out that it's just my mother right on time . "hi" I say trying to sound as weak and sick as possible , which wasn't very hard since I've mastered the weak part .

"hi, what are you doing home? " she asks with a raised eyebrow . "I'm -I'm not feeling too good " i fail to lie so i just go with the undetailed  truth  ,she rushes over to me almost tripping over on her heels , "my poor baby , what's wrong ? is it a cold ? " she looks like a maniac  touching my face like a science experiment but I adore the way she loves me more than anything in the world , she's not always here but I know she would never ever let anything happen to me  "no ,  it's not that " she looks confused but I'm pretty sure I know why , I'm not the kind of person who just stays home without a very good amd valid reason .

"what is it then ?" I'm not sure how to answer to her question without giving her all the details so I just shake my head "nothing , it's complicated " . she tenses up and sighs  "I always knew I'd have to hear that sentence someday I just never thought it would be so soon , but I know you will tell me when you are ready " she gives me a warm assuring smile , I smile back at her , she just made me realize that it's almost pathetic for me to sit around here sulking over my sad and lonely life " lets go to the mall " I suggest

she looks at me scanning my body ," don't worry I'll change " I head upstairs and I change into some jeans , toms and a sweatshirt . I don't really care for  appearances so I put my hair back into a messy bun like I always do .