Heartbreak Girl // A.F.I

16

Kelsey's POV // New Haven & Uncasville, Connecticut

After receiving the call from Ashton a few days ago, I took his advice and figured I deserved a couple of days off. Fortunately, I was easily able to get both days off to be able to spend as much time with them as possible before they move on to their next tour stops. Wow, this is the first time in three years that all six of us have been together. I have constantly blamed myself for that, but that guilt of being the sole wrecker of our friend group is gone now that Ashton and I realized how mutual it was. I realized there's no room for feeling regretful or hurt anymore for the things that have happened in the past.

As I get ready to drive to the arena, I look in the mirror at myself, adjusting the band shirt and black jeans that I just put on. I tousle my shoulder-length hair, shorter than I've ever had it in my entire life, which makes me look older and wiser. For the first time, I've really realized how much I have matured and grown into the person that I've always dreamed of being. I don't look like, or think like, for that matter, the scared 18-year-old who just had to leave everything she knew to move halfway across the world to pursue the best opportunity she had been given. Though I can't say I can be totally proud of every single decision I've made since then, everything I've done has brought me here, to where I stand. The things that defined me three years ago are completely different than the ones that do today, and I feel like it's all coming full circle, finally. Sure, I'm nervous, but I'm more excited than anything.

On my way out the door, I grab my jean jacket and purse, and begin the drive to Uncasville, a little under an hour away. As I get closer and closer, my nerves get worse and worse, but I know it's just the anticipation, and that everything will be fine. As I pull into the parking lot, I check the time. The car clock says 2:50, and I told them I'd be here a little bit after 3. I'm a bit early, I guess. I park and walk to the gate they told me to go through for my security clearance, and then I get taken to the guys' space. I'm greeted at the door by Calum and am led into a room with couches, instruments, and of course, alcohol.

"Look who's here!!" He exclaims, immediately giving me a hug, and one by one, the guys hug me. Ashton, however, is missing.

"Want a drink? I just opened a new bottle of tequila," Calum says as I shake my head, laughing.

"You and your tequila man, and you can't even say it right. I'll take a drink. Where's the drummer at?" I say as Calum hands me a cup.

"Somewhere around here. He didn't anticipate that you would here early, I don't think, do you want us to go find him?" Michael asks, starting to get up.

"Nah, I can find him. I'll wander a bit. Jocelyn won't be here for another hour anyway," I say, walking out of the room and into the arena. For a while, I just wander, thinking he's in one of the other rooms getting food or something, and then I make my way backstage, kind of snooping around and seeing what's there. I hear someone on the stage and immediately freeze, but then the footsteps recede. I follow them out into the hallway again, and after turning a corner, I see a tall, muscular man with dark blonde curly hair headed the opposite direction from where I stand, and my heart immediately drops to the floor.

The moment almost feels like it's slow motion. He looks different, more mature, and so much more at ease. Not in any visible form of stress. I obviously knew what he has looked like over the past few years, but it was so much more striking in person that he's really grown from the boy I loved all of those years into the man he wanted to be and that I always thought he would become. As much as I've grown into the person I've always seen myself becoming, so has he. I didn't expect to have this kind of reaction when I saw him again. I can't tell if its nerves, or feelings coming back, or what.