Every time I go to dinner
It seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner
I'll sit down at the breakfast table
I can talk while they're not able
When I look at them I find
There's a single question on their mind.
I wish it could go back to the way it was
It's not easy now because...
My whole family thinks I'm gay
I guess it's always been that way.
Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk,
Makes them think I like... boys
That I like boys
The goddamn question just won't go away
And I get asked every single day
But the way they ask it is not a disguise,
Like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"
This is the worst, baby, this was my fear
Now their opinions are crystal clear,
Because...
My whole family now is shocked,
I'm in the closet and the door is locked.
Now my glory days are gone,
I was John Elway now I'm Elton John.
My whole family now suspects,
Watching Spongebob had side-effects.
I'm not gay and that's what I said,
If I'm gay, hey, God, strike me dead, you know...
That's weird
Just 'cause I'm on the cheer-leading team
And my birthday party had a Broadway theme...
When I go outside, what do I see?
That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G
Because I think that God might think I'm gay,
What does He know anyway?
My grandma gave me a present just last year,
And the card said: "Happy Birthday, queer!"
My whole family thinks I'm fab
There's a guy's butt - "Hey, Bo, take a stab!
C'mon... why doesn't he get women? There's no other way!"
It's 'cause I'm lanky, not 'cause I'm gay, alright?
Not 'cause I'm gay.
Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow,
Or my favorite color is the rainbow.
Heh... that was a joke.
I don't mean to yell but I fear I must,
'Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust.
Because even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay... mother fucker
You all probably think I'm gay,
Man, this song is counterproductive
La la la la la...
Because my whole family thinks I'm gay,
What did they know anyway?
You gotta look right through the haze,
Easy-Bake oven was just a phase.
My whole family thinks I'm queer,
That is all I ever hear,
But I've been as straight as a ramp,
If you don't count Bible camp.
Bible camp.
I'm not gay, I swear.
