Bones had talked me into joining him for the section and special forces night out in a hope to get me back to my gobby usually self. It's been weird lately he's been acting different, he used to be so confident and ready for the world now he is constantly in his own little world I'm lucky if I can get a conversation out of him nowadays. I've spoken to peanuts and spanner and they think it could be because he's been away from the army for so long cause' he's not used to it.
"I joined the armed forces ten years ago, it was never something I initially wanted I just had to prove to people I could do something with my life to make them proud. My grandad worked for the army a long time ago and always said he'd hope that one day I would follow his footsteps and I did and I'm so proud. But I joined the army to impress my mum and dad they never believed I could do anything useful, I was always the child they didn't want. Fighting for my country didn't even earn my parents to love me. So after that my walls went up. I didn't let people in ever no matter what. I barely let my ex in and she's the mother of my children. So you Georgie have seen more of me open in a few months than a ten year relationship and two children ever did. So I'm sorry George I'm sorry if I'm pushing you away. I'm sorry if your struggling to understand; I really really am. It's just my confidence used to be the thing that got me to fight, but I don't even have that to call my own anymore because of these scars." Bones voice was shaking.
"I'm here Bones. I'm not asking you to pour your heart out everyday I'm asking you to be you. You don't have to be strong all day every day I just need to know what's going on in that head of yours. And a matter of fact those scars yes I know you know their there you wake up every single morning to them and close your eyes every night with them still there but for me those scars are a part of you from the day you got them. "
He truly was broken but the truth was I didn't know how to fix him.
I finished getting ready eventually after hearing all the guys loudly enter the house. "Wow" Bones actually had a genuine smile on his face as his eyes met me. "You don't look to bad yourself." He didn't to be fair he was wearing jeans and trainers with a black tight fitting button top. He looked amazing to be fair. I went against wearing my engagement ring round my neck for tonight don't get me wrong I will never stop loving Elvis but I need to be happy with bones I have the chance I've been lucky enough to find another man who can love me for me not many people get that opportunity. "We ready?" Spanner's strong Scottish accent rang through the hall. Bones seemed happy to be around all the guys again I missed this, watching him look and feel at home is really what I needed. "Lane over here!" Bones was certainly sounding like his old commanding self, he took out his phone and took a photo of us both. I didn't have bones down for the type of man to take a picture but I'm so glad to see he has the guts to do so. "Your still as handsome as the very day we met." He needed to hear that especially when I wasn't just saying it for him he really is so amazing in my eyes. "Your still as breathtakingly beautiful as the day we met." Bones seemed so genuinely in love.
We headed to the bar as a full section I've got to admit this seems like exactly what I needed, well that was until we spotted our captain out with his wife Molly. "Section plus SF night out so which one of you's invited the captain, seem so now we're going to have to be sensible." Monk seemed slightly irritated but to be fair so was I. I had been avoiding Charlie since the jungle and his declaration of love, I didn't realise how much of my own world I was in until bones wrapped his strong arms tightly around my waist, my reaction was different though usually it would be no pda but tonight I wasn't so against him showing his love for me. "You okay?" I could feel bones stubble tickle my ear as he whispered into my ear.
"I am now." I wasn't lying I felt better with him like I had a point to my life other than the army.
"I was gonna give you this later but I may as well give it you now." Bones handed me a pandora bag containing a charm bracelet with four charms, one was a Minnie Mouse face, one was the carriage from Cinderella, one was a love heart with a B engraved into it and the last was a star. Also inside the box was a note 'the Disney charms because I know you love Disney, the heart with a B so you know you've always got my heart, and a star because you stand out against all the rest from the very day we met. I really didn't deserve him, he really does have the biggest heart.
"Do we have to stay all night? Movies and cuddles on the sofa seem very appealing to me right now along with a dominos." I wanted us to be able to be us, plus I could see how uncomfortable he was. The journey of recovery physically was going great but mentally not so much.
"I've never been so happy to agree Lane." Bones seemed at peace when he was with me and the guys at the house but here it just felt like he felt wrong and out of place.
We managed to have one drink each but it wasn't hard to see how much bones really wanted to get home.
"Guys we're gonna get going Bones isn't really up for the night out." I truthfully wasn't never mind bones.
"Bye guys be safe text one of us when your back." Fingers could see himself we was both drained.
Me and bones headed out of the club but I felt Charlie's stare on me. Bones entwined our hands as we took a slow walk home.
"This never happened before twenty six years of a life I never stopped for a second to look around me and to see what was happening it's time I started." Bones burst out randomly. I knew one thing I loved this man more than my heart has ever known.
