Charulata's Diary | On Going |

A Beautiful Morning

                                           Sunday
                                       29|04|2018

11:39 pm

I woke up at the warm touch of the sunlight, that was coming through the glass pane of the window, this morning, and it felt the sun was welcoming me with a new day that was waiting for me with a new hope.

The morning was beautiful, or, maybe it was less painful, that's what made it beautiful to me and for the first time in eight days, I woke up, with a small smile on my lips and not being sad about my wretched life.

I was late to wake up, today, as I forgot to set the alarm last night. If it was some other ordinary day, I would have given a thought about going for the morning walk, because I knew the park would be too crowded, by the time I would reach there.
But there was something magical about this morning, something very powerful and I was feeling an inner strength, that was encouraging me to confront the world.
So, I got up and got ready to go out into a world full of people.

I suppose, today was the first time, I, actually, noticed how the saplings that had been planted on the both sides of the Woodland Street, years ago, grew up into big trees and made the street look more beautiful.

While I was running through the street, I saw, the golden rays of the sun were playing hide and seek with the green leaves. The beautiful sky, that was happily blue with the patches of white, here and there, was peeping through the leaves and the branches.
The color of happiness was painted everywhere around me.

The more I was taking notice of my surroundings, the more I realized how I had kept myself confined in my self-made cage, all my life. I was, too, afraid to come out, even though, the key to that cage had always been in my hands.

When, I was little and didn't meet you, I was actually clueless about how to deal with the world.
How could a little girl who never fitted into her own family could think that she could fit into this world?
My parents always made me feel that I was unwanted, so I believed that I was unwanted and never dared to think that anyone could ever want me.

Then you came and changed everything I ever believed. 

When you made all those stupid efforts to talk to me or to make me your friend, I thought it was a prank, a dissimilar kind of prank than the others I had suffered before but a prank nonetheless to humiliate me before everyone. It was hard for me to believe that someone actually wanted to be my friend.
But the day you punched that boy for me, changed everything. I never saw anyone, caring for me the way you did, that day.
Even my mother never threw a look at me when I used to come with the bruises, from the school.

I don't think she, still, knows that I used to get bullied in the school.

You were the only one, who actually looked at me, not with pity, not with disgust, not with mock. You saw me as a person, as a human being like all the others around me.

You changed everything, Arjun. You made me your friend, you made me your family.
I have never got that motherly affection from my own mother that I had received from your mother.
To my father, I'm a nonexistent object, but to Harish uncle, I was always the daughter he never had.

You dragged me out of that dark cage where I was locked against my own will and was yearning to come out but didn't know how.

Then you were gone and I lost everything in a blink. Everything shattered before my eyes like a house of cards.

So, this time, I went into that cage on my own volition and locked myself in there because there was naught left for me, on the outside.
It was my choice, because I didn't know how to be happy without you.
But, what I failed to understand was that you didn't just make me happy, you taught me how to be happy, even when you would not be with me.

You taught me to see the beauty of nature, you taught me to convey my feelings through the painting.
I always do listen to the music, but you taught me to savour the lyrics. You taught me how to dance crazily in the rain. You taught me how to climb on the tree and see the sunset, sitting on the branch.

I could have done all this alone, when you were gone, but in all those moments you were with me and I was never able to fill that vacant place beside me. 

But today, the breeze was whispering your words in my ears......

"You can't depend on anyone else for your own happiness, Charu. You are strong enough to find all the good thing, that you deserve, for yourself. You don't need me. You don't need anyone."

And, I was feeling, I'm still feeling that you are near somewhere. Somewhere, very close to me. So close that I can even touch you. 

Only, this can't be true and you can't be here.

Can you?

You don't think of me anymore, Arjun. I know. This thought is painful, but I can't blame you.
I never tried to save our friendship, even when you were trying so hard.
I pushed you away.

But, perhaps, one day we would bump into each other while walking on a busy street, somewhere in this world. This world could be so small sometimes.
So, maybe....ONE DAY.

Maybe, we would not recognize each other. We would just apologize to each other and would go on, on our own way. Maybe the next day, we would bump into each other at the same place and this time we would smile at each other before apologizing once more. The next day when it would happen again, we would laugh and say hello instead of saying sorry, before resuming our walk on our way that would be on the two complete opposite direction. 

We will never get to know that we know each other, except the nagging feeling that we so look familiar to each other. But we will be so busy in our present life that the time to churn out the past from within the deep ocean of the heart would never cross our mind.

Some stories just end this way.
Some people, who become the world to us, fades away with the time, like they they never were any part of our life.
Maybe, our story ended that way and, now, I'm nothing but an old picture in your memory, that has become obscure being covered by the dust of the time.

But I will always treasure our memories and will always keep you in my heart.
I will never forget you and I will never stop writing to you, Arjun.
Our hopes help us to live. My hope that you will come back one day, makes my life a little easy to live. 
And I will not be locked in the cage anymore. I will live to the fullest, doesn't matter how hard the life is.

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A/N: I have finished writing this chapter with a great rush. I just wanted to finish it as soon as possible.
I hope you will enjoy reading it. *fingers crossed*

Please do vote for the story if you did enjoy this chapter.
Your votes are really important  to me.

Thank You  😊