Save Me (Foolish Angel, Sinful Demon)

I'm Sorry: 1

My only best friend was currently my biggest enemy. I hate her, I hate her so much. "You never answer my text messages or calls! I get that you have a happy love life that's all unicorns and rainbows, but I don't! I needed you! But now I see, I don't want or need you so get out of my life you useless prick!" Tears ran down her pale face as I glared at her. My body shook from anger.

"Stop saying those hurtful things, Rose. I know you don't mean them. I'm sorry for not answering you, I was-"

"Stop with your bullshit excuse Lily! I don't care, I don't care about you! Get out of my life! I never liked you anyways! You're nothing but a nuisance!" I swung my right arm and landed my fist to her face, hearing a cracking noise. She yelped loudly. I felt arms pull me away from her trembling figure. I hate her. I hate her. I thrashed out, trying to free myself from their grip. Once I did, I swung at the person holding me back. Then I felt a small light shaky hand touch my shoulder.

"Rosie, please c-calm down." My body slumped and my whole expression softened. "I'm... I'm so sorry Lily." My lips trembled as I watched her wipe her bloody mouth and open her arms, ready to comfort me as she always does when I act out. I latched onto her as I sobbed, soaking her shirt.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Forgive me. I don't hate you, I didn't mean to hit you. I love you so, so much." She just squeezed me tight without saying a word.

"This has been happening too many times, Mrs. Dandelion. I think you both should consider therapy." I scoffed at the principal's suggestion. I don't need therapy. People just make me mad, so they should expect what's coming to them. Except Lily, I should've never hit her. That was a mistake. "She's been out of control. Not just with other random kids, but her best friend? This isn't normal Rose." I felt my anger rising. I slammed my fist on her desk.

"You really think there's something wrong with me? Just because idiots piss me off?" My grandmother told the principal she'd figure things out and took us home. We entered the house and I threw myself on the couch.

"Sweetie-"

"Save it. Don't even try." I felt her hand land on my arm and I flinched. I stood up quickly and glared at her, "Why don't you just leave me alone like my parents did Why do you keep trying to handle me, huh?! Just abandon me like mom and dad! I'm nothing but a fucking mess!" My old beautiful wrinkly grandmother walked towards me as I coward back. She gently cupped my cheeks, causing tears to pool in my eyes.

"I'd never do that to you." I whimpered but didn't make any moves.

"N-nana. What's wrong with me?" She smiled sadly and sighed. She sat me down on the couch as she sat close to me, holding my hands.

"BPD," she whispered softly. I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Borderline personality disorder. It's a mental illness that causes you to have an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior. You seem to be more attached to anger though, although you can change variously." I chuckled ironically.

"Guess I'm more fucked up than I thought." My grandmother scolded me for a while for cussing as I blacked out and thought about how horrible I really am. How can my grandmother put up with me? How can my best friend put up with me? The two most important people in my life are the ones I hurt the most.

"I'm what?!" I can't believe this. Why is this happening to me? Does the universe really hate me?

"Rose, you're expelled from your school. We're gonna have to put you in a different school." I pulled on my hair in frustration.

"But it's my senior year! I can't just leave now!" I turned around and punched a hole into the wall. I grabbed my grandmother's old vase and threw it to the door next to where she was standing. "NO! NO! NO! I don't want to leave!" Then I fell hopelessly to my knees and sobbed. I felt my grandmother's warm arms circle around me, but I pushed her away and ran to my room. I locked myself in the bathroom and stared at the person in front of me. I hate what I see. I'm the reason why my grandmother and best friend suffer. I'm a monster. "You're a monster!" I yelled out as I punched my already swollen hand to the mirror. I punched over and over again even if it was already broken. The impact was so hard that some pieces scratched my face or got stuck on my cheeks. I stopped and sank to the ground, hugging my knees to my chest. "I'm a monster."