Ugana

Chapter 4

Sun. That's what I dream about. Laying in the rich green grass, bright sun shining down, warming my skin. Soothing my muscles. I can feel it spreading, the warmth tingling my flesh, raising small bumbs down my arms and legs. I dream about the sky, white clouds moving back and forth overhead, and when my eyes begin to flutter, the white clouds turn into white robed people. The sun is just a bright light overhead, the rich grass just one bed among many in the clinic. I watch them move through narrow eyelids, not yet wanting anyone to know Im awake. I don't know why, but I know its important. They move around me, never once really looking. Instead they skim through charts, flashing data on screens and collaborating with only the people in white- the people like them.

I cant say for certain. She tests extremely high in all areas, but the simulation was extreme.

I don't understand.

It is peculiar. We may have to do a full wipe.

It would be such a waste, don't you think? Shes obviously top crop. To wipe her may change that.

Yes, but not to wipe her may debilitate her. We had to send Moreen in to her Sim to get her to emerge. The data predicted she would never make it in time. It seems she is motivated by others as opposed to self

A perfect guard, then, no?

Hard to say. She had a weapon and never used it, even when Moreen was in danger.

But she got Moreen back, at the risk of herself.

She got Moreen back at the risk of them both. That is hardly acceptable.

Her file shows a desire and a strong compatibility with the medical field. She may make a good physician after her stunt with the ankle.

Or she may be a dangerous physician- accessibility to top secret files with a moral compass placing the lives of others above her own. It's a dangerous situation waiting to happen. Still, if she should come out of the sim undamaged, she may be pliable. A perfect soldier, especially after experiencing what she has. We will have to keep a close eye on her data as it accumulates. Let me know when she wakes, wont you?

Yes ma'am.

My eyes are closed again before she exits the room, but I hear the hiss of the door behind her and feel the air move as the man circles the bed once again. Before he leaves he places a large palm on the back of my hand and sits there for a moment. I don't know what hes waiting for, but if its for me to open my eyes, it wasn't going to happen any time soon. After a few minutes he releases a heavy sigh and pulls away.

I don't know if you can hear me, Anne, but if youre in there, you better pull yourself together. You better do it fast. Don't think about it. Block it out. Do whatever you need to, but keep it together.

I hold my breath as he speaks, trying not to give anything away when all I want to do is scream. Run. Cry. When I hear the door his closed a second time I dare to open my eyes. The light above sends me reeling back as images of the wall crash into my mind. The heat of the synthetic sun. The rocks. The rebels. My heart races and I feel the lump form in my throat as my fingernails draw blood from my palms, but I lay still...keeping it together. 

It takes a while for the waves to settle as I lay there, eyes closed tight. The images took over my mind in a flash floods, drowning everything in fear, drowning me. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. My entire body felt raw and ragged as I lay there in silence- you can't scream when your drowning. Eventually I give in, no longer fighting back, and sink. The deeper i drift the darker it gets. Eventually I find myself at the bottom, face to face with the dark man from outside the wall. He smiles under feral eyes, crazed and ready for the chase. An animal on the hunt- but an animal kills to feed him body. This man kills to feed his soul. I don't know how long I spend at the bottom, but eventually the waves slow and the sting of my palms being me back to the surface, gasping.