The Man Behind the Shield

Bad News

This morning went by slow, as I whipped up breakfast for myself and dad. I call the bakery and everything is running smoothly.

It was twelve thirty when we left for and he doctors. The morning was nice and comfortable, but dad insisted on wearing a sweater.

When we arrive I sign dad in on the waiting list and we wait to be called.

I didn't sleep a wink last night. I waited most of the night for Steve's phone call but it never came. He promised and he didn't call. I know he is busy, and yesterday was an emotional day for him. I glance at my phone and still see no messages or missed calls. I just wish he would send a text. An apology. Anything.

I anxiously began to pick the skin of my nails, as we wait.

Twenty minutes later, My fingers are almost to the point of bleeding  as I wait for the doctor to call us in. I'm a nervous wreck and I don't know how to handle it.

Dad notices my impatience and reaches over, pats my hands away from each other and takes one in his and holds it.

" Everything will be alright doll."

I nod staring at a poster on the opposite wall. " I know it will." Dad doesn't believe me and he turns to me.

" Look at me Heylee."

I blink away any emotion and turn to him. He smiles at me.

" I know your scared. No one wants to hear that anyone they love are hurt or sick...or dying. But this is life, Heylee. I am an old man. I've survived a war, and hundreds of other things that made my life tough. Your mother, the bakery, and you are what make my life wonderful. I've lived an amazing life. I'm not afraid, and you shouldn't be either...because i'm gonna be okay."

" How do you know that?"

" I have faith."

I can't help but smile back and tears fall as I nod.

" Mr. Moore?" The nurse calls us and I help dad up.
We move down the hall and into the last room where we see Dr. McThomas sitting at his desk.

" Hi Jimmy. Hi Heylee." the doctor welcomes us.
He opens dads file and I grip my hands tight.

The doctor sighs and looks at Jimmy.

" It's been a few weeks since your last tests, and we didn't find any masses in your MRI but your blood work is where we found beginning stages of Lukemia. Untreated, you have possibly a year or two... but radiation at your age will not make you as healthy as you are now. It could lead to sickness leading deaths such as pneumonia, heart attack, or possibly stroke."

My heart raced as the truth finally came out.  Dad grips my hand and I hold it tight, almost like it's his lifeline. Dad is dying.

" I know this must be hard of you; but there are alternative treatments so please keep your options open." The doctor suggests but dad interrupts him.

" I want no treatment."

I turn to him and tears burn down my face." Dad."

The doctor interrupts. "Jimmy... there are other alternatives..."

" listen, it's my body and my life...and I want to live it like my wife had. She suffered only on the day she died. And I want the same."

I remember the day they told us mom had cancer and I was broken for weeks. I had dad to help put me back together to enjoy my last months with my mom. Now I have to do it all over again and this time I will be all alone.