[DISCONTINUED] Different |Max x Reader|

|4| Conflicting

   ||WARNING! This chapter is a little sad and talks about abuse and depression. I will begin to add music to the chapters.

   I sat there on the steps of my cabin. Watching the sky as tears dropped off my chin. Max' arm wrapped around my shoulder securely. I trusted him. I liked him. I wanted him... I'm such a fucking slut. The tears fell plentifully.
   "Shh it's okay." Max soft yet deep voice comforted me. Why is he being so... nice? He probably only thinks of me as weak. As a whore. As pitiful.
   "Why are you being so nice to me?" I choked.

   "I-I..," He stuttered looking away. "I can't tell you right now." I held my head in my hands. These feelings were so conflicting. I'm so fucking stupid! Why would anyone in this place give a fuck about me? I'm just a dumb bitch... I looked to David as he spoke with the officers. I want to go home. I want to leave. But I need to be here for David. This fuck up is going to be hard on him.

   "I'm so dumb. I fucking trusted him. I'm so fucking dumb!" I hugged my knees and cried painfully.
   "You're not dumb Y/N," Max lifted my chin. "Ripley is a fucking asshole and a creep. You're not a slut, you're not stupid, and you're not the one at fault." He spoke so softly. His eyes once full of hate were now soft. My heart thumped as he peered into my eyes.

   "I was such a bitch... I don't why you're being so nice to me..." I whimpered laying my head on his shoulder. He lifted me in his lap and squeezed me tightly. I put my my arms around his neck. We hate each other. He hates me. I hate him. Why are we holding each other?

   "Y/N, I don't really know how to feel or if I even care for you or not. I mildly dislike you but I also don't at the same time. When I saw him touching you I hated it and when I saw your tears I couldn't handle myself." I stiffened and looked at him.
   "I don't like you either but you were my only hope. I hate you but I also like you." We stared at each other. Gazing into anothers eyes.

   "I didn't want to confuse you or hurt you anymore by saying it but I guess you deserved the truth." I slid of his lap returning to my original spot.
   "I need time to think about this. To think about you and... Ripley... but I don't want to fight anymore." I whispered just enough for him to hear.
   "Same here." I hugged my knees and he placed his arms on his knees laying his head on his arms. We sat like this awhile.

—Time skip—

   The sun was now a warm orange color as the sun set. Max disappeared hours ago. David knocked on the cabin door.
   "Come In" I beckoned him and the door softly and slowly opened.
   "Hey do you need anything?" David asked entering the room and heading of to the couch where I sat.
   "No I'm fine." He sat next to me and looked own at his hands.
   "I'm really sorry I asked you to come here. If you were home non of this would've happened," David looked at me. "I want you to go home and rest." I sat up surprised. I can't just leave him! He needs me.
   "What?! I'm not going home, David!"
   "Don't protest, Y/N."

   "Fuck no David! I'm not going to leave I don't give a shit what you say." This was the only thing I cared about now. David was everything to me. After our mother died he was the only one I had. No way was I gonna leave him to handle this himself.
   "Watch your language! You are going home that's final." He stood up
   "If you make me go home I'll never forgive you!" I teared up and stood as well.

    "Y/N you need to rest and relax! Why won't you just go home?" His shoulders drooped in defeat.
   "I want to help you David. You need me." David sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He hugged me tightly. He choked out.
   "Fine... But you're going to rest." I smiled and hugged him back tighter. A tear dropped down my cheek.
   "Ok, David. I love you."
   "I love you too." He released his grip on me and headed for the door.
   "Get some rest. Please." David walked out the door leaving me to sit on the couch.

   I sighed and lauded down on the couch staring at the ceiling blankly. Why am I still here? I wanted to leave. I remembered the look in Ripleys eyes and the way he had touched me. I just want to die. Other people wouldn't have been able to find the will to do anything. They'd be completely broken. But my whole life I've felt worthless. My father a dead beat drunk asshole hit us and treated us like wasted space. My will to live was broken a long time ago. (For those of you who are wondering where Nikki and Neil are they in the cafeteria trying to give Y/N some space. They'll probably sleep in David and Gwen's cabin)

    I couldn't sleep no matter how I hard I tried. I stared at the ceiling for what seemed like eternity. Getting up I decided to change since I was still wearing Max' oversized baggy jacket. I put on some shorts and my own oversized baggy shirt. I folded Max' jacket and placed it on the arm of the couch as I laid down.

As if on queue Max opened to door and entered. He glanced at me before walking over to the armoire. He grabbed on of his shirts as his current one was still stained with blood.
"Where'd you go?" I questioned as he removed his shirt revealing his slightly muscular torso. I looked away embarrassed.

"Somewhere to think." He walked over to his bed and flopped on staring at the bottom of the other bed. I looked back to the ceiling.
"Why aren't you in you're bed?" He questioned back.
"Couldn't find the will to get up there." Max turned to me at this remark.
"You ok?"
"I... actually no. I'm not okay..." I shouldn't be telling him but I just feel like I can confide in him.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Maybe he'll understand. I have nothing to lose. Nothing at all.

"It won't hurt to finally tell someone." Max patted his chest beckoning me. I slowly moved toward him and laid on his chest listening to his breathing as his chest rose and fell.
"Go on." I sighed yet again. Time to relax I guess.
"Don't tell David but... I've never really... wanted to live. I guess that this unfortunate event hasn't really affected me is because... I've already been broken..." Tears threatened to stain my cheeks even more than they already were.
"My dad was an asshole. Beat us, used us, ignored us. That's probably... when I broke. When my mom moved me and David to America they were the only people I cared about. The only thing that kept me going but when my mom died... David was the only thing left. He's really the only thing I've got left and I know someday he's gonna leave me and I won't have anything left. After today I realized... how truly fucking worthless I am. My life is just some tiny fucking ant in the grand scheme of things and it won't even matter so why... Why am I still here?" I cried softly into his chest. Max put his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I guess things have been hard for you. I want to help but I don't know how." He whispered.
"I just want to sleep right now..." He pulled his blanket over us and turned over so we were on our sides, my back against his chest.
"Is this... okay?" He uttered timidly.
"It's fine." Max rested his arm around my side.
"Just get some rest for now. Goodnight." Will all of this change in the morning? Will he forget what I shared with him?

A/N: This is edited but I still don't really like the ending what do you think?