[DISCONTINUED] Different |Max x Reader|

|9| I Can Never Forgive Myself

The sun was on a mission. A mission to ruin my peaceful slumber. I raised a lazy hand to my eyes and groaned before smothering my face in my pillow. I took a deep sigh breathing into the cheap fabric of the sheets and pillow. I decided to get up and gather my belongings since David's closing the camp soon. Honey colored light filled the room. How long have I been sleeping? I must have been more out of it than I thought. I guess Y/N and I got back a lot later than intended. I pushed myself off the bed and stretched with a loud yawn. My eyes still a little hazy wandered the room. Everything was the same as it had been just days prior. My bag was slouched against the wall, some of it's contents spilling out. Mr. Honey Nuts, a childhood keepsake, was leaned against the bag. I stared at the bear and into it's glossy bead eyes desperately as if it would give me the answers to my troubles. Why am I so involved with this girl? When I hear about her problems I just want to hold and protect her. I hate this feeling! I got off the bed and walked over to the window drawing back the curtains. The room lit up with light. I stood looking out the window pondering what might've happened if I never accepted this job. More than ever this camp had brought me despair. Back then I hated this place because I hated people but now Camp Campbell brought a different feeling of despair. I hate myself for ever considering Ripley a friend. I was so stupid... Thinking of my mistake brought tears to my eyes and they soon turned to a muffled sob as I tried to hold it in. He could have killed Y/N... and it would have been all my fault. The door knob jiggled someone tried to enter the cabin. I wiped my eyes furiously and tried my best to breathe normally and calm myself down. I turned my head so whoever walked in couldn't see my weak state. The door opened and Y/N shuffled in and tossed her keys on her bed. She noticed me standing by the window and greeted me.

"Hey, Max. Finally awake I see," She chuckled. "How has your morning been?" I stiffened at the question. "Oh um, it's been okay..." I mentally cursed myself for how shaky my voice was. "You sure? You still sound a little tired." Y/N questioned the roughness of my voice. "Oh yeah! Just didn't get enough sleep haha." I laughed trying to make a good excuse. Y/N sauntered over to me and put her hands on my shoulder whispering in my ear. "Whatcha' looking at?" I shifted my head a bit avoiding her gaze. "N-nothing." She frowned and her brows furrowed.
"Is everything okay?" Y/Ns voice was laced with concern as she asked. "Yeah..." I mumbled as more tears pricked at my eyes. "Let me see your face, Max." She grabbed my chin and made me face her. As she gazed upon my face her features became clouded with sorrow. Her arms snaked around my neck enveloping me in a warm embrace. Y/Ns face burrowed into the crook of my neck. I weakly wrapped my arms around her waist.   "What's wrong?" She turned her face up to me, her E/C eyes suffocating me. I shoved my face into the crook of her neck choking down a sob. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have trusted Ripley. I-I'm so sorry." Y/N grabbed my face and looked into my eyes again. Her thumbs rubbed my tear stained cheeks.
"Ripley had no right to do what he did and there was no way you could've stopped him. You saved me, Max. Without there's no telling what he would have done." Her warm lips kissed the corner of my eye. Shes still kind to me... even when I've made a mistake. Even after I was an asshole to her and David. My chest tightened as I gazed into her eyes. What is this feeling?

We sat on my bed. Y/N sat in my lap with her back against my chest. My hands came to rest in her lap as I leaned against the wall behind my bed. My head was buried in her neck comfortably.
  "I can't forgive myself. I was so mean to you and David and everybody else in my life. Your so nice to me. After everything I've done to you and you still wanna be my friend." Y/Ns hands were intertwined with mine as her thumb carresed mine. "You're being to harsh on yourself. You saved my life," She pointed her index finger counting off all the nice things I've done for her. "Cleaned me up when I cut my cheek, You're there for me when I need to talk, and you're funny." Y/N then lifted her middle finger, ring finger, and pinkie as she spoke. "How am I funny?" She looked up to me as my my chin now rested on her forehead.
  "You get really angry at everything and it's really funny... and sometimes even cute." Y/N murmured. I laughed lightly at her words. Just being with her made me feel better even if the sadness was still there in the back of my mind.
  "I am NOT cute!" I argued. Y/N gave me a toothy smirk.     "You're right. You're not cute," She shifted her body so that she was facing me now. Her legs were on either side of mine which were criss-crossed. Y/N leaned in and whispered in my ear sweetly. "You're sexy~" My face went red. Y/N fell back laughing sensing my discomfort. I made and angry face and muttered. "I hate you..." She jumped up and pecked my cheek.

"You wish."

A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't posted in like three months. A lot happened and I was so stressed but I'm back and trying to make regular updates. Also I'm working on a Saiki K. fanfic because I fucking love the show. Anyways lots of love :) Edit: I had to Chang some shit because I wrote this chapter on my laptop and when I went to she check it the story looked weird.