[DISCONTINUED] Different |Max x Reader|

|8| Rooftop Confessions (edited)

   I tossed and turned anxiously in my bed. Nikki and Neil had fallen asleep hours ago but I was still wide awake. I just couldn't stop worrying about Max. He'd been gone for quite some time and had still not come back. I flipped onto my back and groaned angrily. Today has been a disaster. I showed weakness. I'm nothing but a waste of space. I smirked as I stared at the ceiling. I grabbed my phone checking the time, the clock read: 2:06 A.M. I turned off my phone groaning. Well I'm not going to sleep. I untangled myself from the mess of blankets and slugged down the ladder. I stepped on the floor softly trying not to make a sound, my feet glided across the floor quietly making their way to the door. Grabbing my shoes I slipped them on and slid out the door trying to close it as quiet as I could.

   I stood on the doorstep looking at the night sky. It was so beautiful. The moon was shining brightly over head and the stars hung in the sky like bats in cave ceiling. I sighed keeping my neutral face. I began walking out into the night. Where was I going? Wherever my feet would take me. The breeze felt so cool and refreshing. I walked around aimlessly hoping to calm this raging sea of anxiety. Why am I worrying any way? I sighed trying to calm myself. I walked behind our cabin looking around curiously. I spotted a metal latter leaned ominously against the side of my cabin. What the fuck? I walked a little closer investigating the latter. Hmmm. I wander what's up there. David wouldn't mind if looked up there would he? I shook the ladder checking it's sturdiness. I climbed up slowly and carefully so that I didn't fall. I peeked my head over the roof scanning it.

"Y/N?" Max' voice startled me and I slipped a little on the ladder. Max grabbed my hand and hoisted me up onto the roof carefully.
"Careful you could've gotten hurt stupid." He warned.
"I didn't know you were up here. You scared me." I sighed putting my hand to my chest. My heart raced uncontrollably from almost falling. Max sat down his knees scrunching up to his chest.
"Sorry," He mumbled. "Why are you awake anyway?" Max asked raising a brow.
"Just have a lot on my mind." I sighed uneasily. Max gave me a weird look but it disappeared as soon as it came.
"Ok then..." He murmured flatly.
"Why are you awake then?" I asked mimicking him.
"Same as you." I sat down next to him biting my lip awkwardly.
"You know... you could let people know where you are. I was... worried ok?" I turned away from him avoiding eye contact.
   "Don't worry about me. It's not as if we'll see each other again even if we want to." Max hesitated. I turned to him abruptly. What?
   "Max, what do you mean?" He hugged his knees looking out into the trees as if he was looking for the answer; as if he himself didn't know the answer.
   "After this place gets shut down you'll continue your life and I'll continue mine. Odds are we won't ever see one another again." Max sighed softly resting his chin in his knees.

   My chest tightened. For some reason I didn't like the thought of not seeing him again. I've known this kid for two days but I still don't wanna lose him. What's wrong with me! I mentally face palmed.
   "If it means anything to you I'd like to see you again," He stared into my eyes. His bright teal eyes looked miserable. "I've only know you for a short amount of time but... You're important to me." Max looked away unable to speak.
   "O-oh I suppose that was a little bit forward." I said embarrassed.
   "A 'little'? You just told a strange guy who you've known for like a day that he's important to you." He gushed throwing his hands up.
   "Aah I'm sorry I don't know what I'm saying... gah I never know what I feel anymore!" I said standing up.
   "Ever since I came to this stupid camp and met that fucking fuckboy Ripley my life has been... fucking confusing!" My voice was shaky and rough. I didn't know if it was because I was angry, embarrassed, or on the verge of tears. Maybe it's a combination of all three.
   "And now... I don't even know how to feel. Should I be happy, sad, traumatized, angry, or some fucking amalgamation of a bunch of stupid emotions?!" I threw my hands every which way trying to make sense of the nonsense I was spouting.
   "Calm the fuck down, Y/N, you're acting weird." Max said standing up to face me.
   "I'm... sorry. My thoughts are running a million miles an hour. I'm so confused, Max, so fucking confused. Everything I've believed about myself is contradicting itself. I've never wanted so badly to actually feel something other than emptiness." I muttered quietly resting my forehead on Max' shoulder while my hand hang idly by my side.

   Max' hands gripped my shoulders pushing me back and forcing me to look into his eyes.
   "Every day I discover something more depressing about you," He sighed. "I don't know why you're getting so upset. I'm as confused as you are about you're feelings as well as my own." He looked down at the floor. Do we... share the same feelings?
   "For some odd reason... I feel the exact same way." Max said looking me in the eyes. It seemed like tonight all we've done is stare into one another's eyes. I sat down again looking up at the moon.
   "Fuck feelings. Fuck the whole god damn world." I protested tiredly. Max sat next to me looking up to the stars.
   "I hear ya' loud and clear." He agreed. I laid down against the roof spread out like a child making a snow angle. Tonight seems so fucking surreal. So fake. I can't put my finger on it.
   "We should get to bed." Max informed eyes still glued to the sky. I lay there unmoving watching the clouds pass over the moon.
   "I'd like to stay here a bit longer." I murmured. The cool night air grazed over my skin in wistful silky sheets. His words rang in my head endlessly. I just want to forget this night. Fuck it. I just want to forget everything. My eyes watered slightly though I don't know why, I wasn't sad but the tears flowed anyway. Running down my cheeks and dripping down into my hair. They flowed silently, like a cry for help that no one could see. I just want to feel something...

A/N: hi guys I'm not feeling so well so I probs won't have the next chapter up until next Monday, sorry! Anyways thanks for reading!