The Force's Secret - A Reylo Fan Fiction

Here Without You

Author's Note: Another slightly shorter chapter but I really wanted to provide an update tonight. I can't wait to get to the good stuff. ♡

*briefly inspired by 'Here Without You' by Three Doors Down*

"Goodbye Ben."

He knew when he wasn't wanted. A fleeting sense of guilt passed through him as he felt himself return back to his own cruiser without saying goodbye in return.

He turned and angrily kicked over a chair. His hand went to his side to grab for his saber but he stopped himself. No, not today. He wouldn't resort to another destructive tantrum. That would just get Hux involved and Hux would know he had gone to see her, which would not bode well for the First Orders attack plans.

The attack was already underway. The first wave of troops had already departed from the three flagships remaining in the First Order - the Subjugator, the Absolution, and the Finalizer. They'd lie in wait at the decided upon locations, waiting for the signal to begin the trek and subsequent attack upon Nakadia.

Ben picked up the chair he had kicked over, setting it upright and heaving himself into its seat.

What was he thinking? Going and seeing her. Warning her even. She didn't deserve it. He should have let her be caught off guard, scrambling for survival. But deep down, he knew he couldn't bear for that to happen to her.

He reflected on their discussion. She said it had been four years since their last connection. That was only partially true. They had connected sporadically for two years after their last face to face conversation, but she had always been asleep. Yes, it was an invasion of privacy for him to visit her as she slept, but it was the only way he could see her without her trying to shut him out. The visitations ceased after he connected to her one particular evening and he found her in bed, not alone.

He never found out who the man was. All he remembered was seeing Rey fast asleep, a content look on her face, while a tan arm had itself draped across her side. The mans face was buried in her shoulder, his dark hair barely visible in the dim light of the lantern. Ben had quickly retreated from the scene and immediately destroyed his training facility out of anger.

He then threw himself into an intense training regimen, kept busy with travel - even if that meant spending awful amounts of time with Hux - just to keep from connecting to her again. But even though the connections had roughly ceased, he was still haunted by her in his dreams. Or maybe that meant they were nightmares. Try as he might, he still couldn't get her off his mind, even after all this time.

His thoughts wandered back to tonight. Even though she was not open to discussing the significance of today with him, she at least acknowledged it. He was mildly hurt the memory was so unpleasant to her. He did not share this sentiment however. It heavily played into why he warned her tonight, even though he would have tried to deny that fact if she had asked.

She had asked why he warned her of the First Orders incoming arrival. His answer was vague, hoping she would fill in the blank. He wanted her to say it, and she knew it. But Rey was smart, so she didn't give in to him as he had hoped. Another factor for his feelings of anger this evening.

Speaking of his anger, he was angry she was training those with the Force. In his ideal reign, there would be no Jedi. This complicated things. Potentially, it could also complicate tomorrows battle, as this meant there were additional threats. And as untrained as Rey had been, he knew her students would be just as skilled as she. He decided then and there that if the others began to interfere with the battle, he would be the one to handle them.