Alternate | Seokjin [√]

explanations + ending note

"i want you to be happy and to love your self even though you feel that you don't deserve it but in my eyes you deserve all the happiness so please love your self like i do."

many of you noticed the chapter names, some of you even tried guessing the next title when i was updating. what you didn't know though, was whom i actually wanted to convey this message to.

and that person is, you, the one who's reading this.

at first glance it may look like the chapter titles were directed towards the lead of this story, seokjin. yes and no because it was also directed towards you guys, people who were reading this story.

because i know many of you are going through a hard time. i really meant the words when i wrote them.

now, as for the 'alternate ending' chapter, many of you may think this was a literal alternate ending of the story judging by the chapter title. but no.

i only wrote 'alternate ending' because it happened in another alternate world.

yes, this book has two endings in two different worlds. remember what seokjin said on the phone call with eunsuen in the last chapter?

"i hope there's another world where a jin would meet a pretty and nice girl eunsuen."

that's where i hinted you guys what the surprise chapter would be about.

either way, in the other alternate world it is shown that eunsuen changed her course to literature after two years. when in the first world she changed her mind during her last year of high school with the help of jin.

taehyung became friends with jin in university when in the other worlds they knew each other for a longer time.

jin survived. else he wouldn't have met eunsuen.

those were the main differences in the second world.

now comes a question, why i wrote this book. most of you wouldn't be eager to know this but i've had the idea of this book on my mind for months. i just didn't know how to end the story and that's where kimi no nawa striked in.

but what made me write this story was the death of one of my favourite persons, our favourite person.

you see, i was never the biggest fan of shinee but i just adored them. they were one of the very first groups i'd listened to and i still have a lot of their songs in my music library.

and i loved jonghyun.

so when the news of his death came, i just couldn't believe it. he was there, he was alive even yesterday so how could he die all of a sudden? why would he take his life, that's absurd.

i thought this was just a rumour until i came to know it was the truth.

and i couldn't cry. actually i couldn't. i just sat there at the edge of my bed for three days. i could hardly eat or sleep. everything just felt, so unreal those days.

because as much as it hurt, him, just being gone it also made me realize how fragile life could be. how someone could be gone within the blink of an eye leaving us only with regrets, that we couldn't treat them better.

when i was a little kid, maybe 6/7 years old there lived a young girl next door and we'd communicate through our windows.

she was 19 years old and still, one of the prettiest, nicest girl i had ever seen. she had a tomboy look. short hair, fair skin and she'd always smile and wave at me.

and one day, she wasn't there anymore. i peeked through my window only to find a lot of people in her house and sounds of mourning.

that was the first time i had heard of suicide.

apparently, she wasn't the brightest girl i thought she was. inside she was hurting a lot and no one knew until she died.

it's funny how it's been so long and i don't remember most of the things from that age but her smiling face is still so vivid in my mind.

and all these thoughts, they remind me how oblivious we can be about someone's true feelings. how easily we judge that people are happy seeing them smile.

the person you're so close with, maybe your best friend too could be going through things.

and you wouldn't know until they're gone.

i really hope this book could make you feel that. i wish somehow this story could make you feel a little better today.

this book really means a lot to me. I'll miss writing this, a lot.

thank you for your support. please remember, whoever you are, i may or may not know you but i want you to know that you're amazing and important. please love yourself ♥