Alternate | Seokjin [√]

so

❝Help me
It feels like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
but I just can't❞

-in my blood, shawn mendes

---
12:00 am

kim.seokjin:
eunsuen

kim.seokjin:
I'm so sorry for not replying to you

kim.seokjin:
and for being inactive

kim.seokjin:
please don't be mad

seen at 12:03 am

eunsuen:
you bitch

kim.seokjin:
I'm sorry :(

eunsuen:
I'm so fucking glad that you're alright

eunsuen:
look i worried so much

eunsuen:
i thought you were fucking going to die again

message not sent

eunsuen:
and now idk why I'm tearing up

eunsuen:
I'm just so glad
so glad you're alive

kim.seokjin:
of course I'd be alive hahaha

kim.seokjin:
i didn't want to worry you that's why i wasn't online

kim.seokjin:
but looks like i made you worried anyway

kim.seokjin:
and I'm sorry

eunsuen:
fucking stop saying sorry

eunsuen:
I'm just mad yet so happy and i missed you so much and i was so scared overall I'm an emotional mess

kim.seokjin:
really?

kim.seokjin:
i missed you so much too

eunsuen:
then why weren't you here

eunsuen:
apart from that all how the hell are you? are you really okay?

kim.seokjin:
yep why wouldn't i be

kim.seokjin:
it's just my mom

kim.seokjin:
she was sick and she's the only family i have so..

kim.seokjin:
it was hard to pull through i mean running to the hospital, buying the meds paying the bills and stuff

kim.seokjin:
now don't think it was TOO hard my mom is alright now i just had to do it all by myself so i was kinda busy

kim.seokjin:
and doing those all i wasn't in the greatest condition

kim.seokjin:
i don't know i just didn't want to worry you

kim.seokjin:
because i know if we started chatting i wouldn't be able to talk to you properly and it would always be about my mom and stuff and you'd get worried

eunsuen:
what if i want to get worried jin

kim.seokjin:
I'm not worth your worrying

message not sent

kim.seokjin:
aww come on hahaha your worrying would go to vein cause i really was fine lmao

kim.seokjin:
plus you have a friend (taehyung) now
you need to focus on studying too and things has finally started to look up for you

kim.seokjin:
i just didn't want to ruin it over a simple matter

eunsuen:
it's not a simple matter jin

eunsuen:
YOU are not a simple matter

eunsuen:
yes i have other stuff to worry and take care of but you're so important to me too

eunsuen:
you are really so so fucking important you can't even imagine

eunsuen:
whether it's your hardships or even the simplest things you find insignificant i want to hear them all

kim.seokjin:
sometimes i really wonder why you care for me so much

kim.seokjin:
i mean we became friends here but for the other seokjin

kim.seokjin:
you said you barely talked to the other me even though you knew 'me' for years

eunsuen:
I've told you this before

eunsuen:
even though we barely talked he was something else for me

eunsuen:
he wasn't just the bubbly neighbour
or the popular school senior
or the nice co worker

kim.seokjin:
then what

eunsuen:
he was kind of like an... idol, an inspiration

eunsuen:
because he was everything i was not

eunsuen:
he smiled so much laughed so much, made everyone laugh with him and he could talk to anyone be friendly with anyone

eunsuen:
he was so gentle nice and caring

eunsuen:
and i also loved how he was so confident about himself it was the best side of him

seen at 1:32 am

1:35 am

kim.seokjin:
i feel like I'm deceiving you eunsuen

kim.seokjin:
from the very start

kim.seokjin:
because i really don't like myself not even the least i claim i do

---
a/n: "you know there's also a good side about you. that you don't hide your hurt self. secretly depressed people are way scarier."

"you're the most amazing girl I've ever seen cause you're always you. you never pretend."

i think i gave you guys enough clues.