Dance of Ciprahn

Chapter Sixteen

They are locked in a passionate kiss for what seems like forever. They don't know what has come over them. The stress of their ordeal and current events is overwhelming. In this enemy territory they have only each other to rely on. Their lips part and they lay there holding each other. T runs his fingers through her hair. He is realizing how unhappy and lonely he had been. You would think that of all people he should be happy — he was a prince! But others didn't have to worry about assassination attempts. They didn't need to worry about coups, betrayals or in this case kidnapping. 

He was a prisoner in marble walls; a marionette dancing for the world's amusement. His life isn't his own. It's the peoples'. Other people living through him. A leaf in the wind. He could never marry for love. He would be married off to some cold stranger he never met in order to secure the peace. Though he didn't know her long he felt that being around Cass made him happy. She was a source of light and warmth in an otherwise dark existence. Amidst the sea of masks a beacon that beams — a lighthouse leading him home. A burst of light in the dark storm leading the ship to safe shores. She energizes him. He finds himself laughing with her. More than he ever had in his life. He feels that he's starting to get laugh lines from smiling so much. He feels his heartbeat and pupils dilate when he looks at her. He wants to protect and hold her  — whisk her away to his palace so no one else could have her. 

T feels and overwhelming passion towards her that he has never felt before. Soon they get up and resume their tour. Days turn into weeks. They live out their lives in the mostly isolated palace. One day they spend the day outside on the palace grounds. Blinding green grass pushes out from the ground. The skies a bold blue. Around them lay gentle waterfalls cascading like flowing horse's manes. They spy a nice spot for a picnic. They pick out a few goods and snacks to take with them from the palace kitchens and even score some royal jam cake Tsychei. As always guards observe them like vultures from a distance. The young couple pays them no mind. They take turns nervously glancing at each other and nervously looking away when they make eye contact giggling. The sun is a warm caressing hand on their skin. 

Little balls of gnats float by like an animated spider web. The grass is itchy and pungent. In the distance are the dark azure outlines of mountains and puffy marshmallow clouds lazily rolling by. A perfect day. T finds Cass' hand and holds it sheepishly. Awkward nervous teenager pauses fluctuate the otherwise pleasant conversation. "It's such a beautiful day," says Cass, her brown eyes wide with wonder. T nods in agreement. "A true sight to see." "So tell me about yourself," says Cass. She turns and looks at him eagerly. T pauses. He doesn't like talking about himself. He doesn't consider himself as great as people seem to think he is. He is afraid that once you take the pomp and circumstance of being a prince away there wasn't much left of him. Nothing interesting. Nothing worth loving. He decides to reply and give it a go to humor Cass. 

"I am an only child. I was born to King Eurif and Queen Alyn. My mother was very kind but was often absent. She had many affairs to attend to and cared deeply for the kingdom and others. My father could be ... distant. He could be nice and friendly yes... but he could also be not so. He would become angry over little things. Not just at me but everyone. He even would lock me away at times for stupid reasons. I feared him. I still fear him. I think maybe he has some sort of undiagnosed mental disorder. I love him but I cannot stand to be around him. He has hurt me too much." Cass looks at him with sympathetic eyes. "Oh god that was perhaps too much. I don't know why I shared that." T shifts uncomfortably. 

"No it's fine! I'm so sorry that you had to go through that!" T tries stifling a grin. Anyone else would've been freaked out by his TMI, but Cass listens attentively. He feels ashamed for revealing too much but grateful for Cass' empathy. All he really wants is to be heard and listened to. He looks at her looking for a cue of what to say next. She looks intently at him. He swallows then continues. He feels uncomfortable sharing these things but long-buried sentiments boil to the surface begging for an audience. "I guess being raised as a prince was cool and stuff. But it was hard in its own way. If I were given a choice I wouldn't want to be a prince." "When I was a little boy I would sneak into the royal kitchens and steal the Waba cookies and eat them. One time my hand slipped and I knocked over a priceless vase. I was five and I didn't want to be in trouble. I hid the pieces and said it was stolen. I blamed the housekeeper Esbuhn. 

He was a kind old man but I was scared. My father loved that vase and his anger was a terror to behold. Poor old Esbuhn  — that gentle old soul  — was whipped again and again then banished. Thrown out in the cold of winter, without a penny to his name. He just looked at me with those old sad eyes..." T stops and looks at the ground. His eyes are red and they glisten. He doesn't allow himself to cry but his guilt is evident in the way he is absentmindedly tearing up clumps of grass and crushing it with his hand. Who would have thought this supposedly serpent-minded and worldly prince has such a gentle remorseful heart? Cass takes his head and lays it against her bosom. A lone salty tear makes it down his cheek as he remembers kind old Esbuhn who had acted more as a father to him than his actual father had. 

They remain like this for some time. T closes his eyes. Out in this Paradise in this beautiful, kind, thoughtful woman's arms — T had never felt more content and happy. Would that his moment could remain forever. As a prince it was not proper for others to touch him. To lay a hand on him meant punishment and a fierce whipping. He remembers walking down the palace halls and the servants would scrape along the wall to avoid brushing against him eyes downcast. They were afraid of me. It filled him with a great sadness and broke his heart. He yearned for touch — a loving embrace.  A mother's hug, a friends grasp, a lover's embrace... He moves closer to Cass and adjusts his head opening his eyes. He looks blankly at the sapphire skies. He holds her hand again. He wishes that he could be with Cass forever. He looks at the skies and makes a silent prayer to whatever deity or Force that governs all. Please let her stay with me. 

I want her by my side. Please god. Don't let them take her away. Don't let them take her away from me... He turns his head and looks up at her — sad baleful prince eyes. Cass's gaze meets his and they lay there looking into each others' eyes. Looking into each others' souls. Becoming one. He slowly reaches out and places a longing hand on her cheek and rests it there. She raises her hand and cups his hand on her cheek. They glance at each other's lips. They look briefly into each other's eyes once more with infinite understanding. Their lips meet with a quick kiss  — a pause  — their lips meet again and their hands hold each other's heads. They kiss passionately as if sensing they might soon be parted forever. They pull apart. He caresses her cheek again, heart fluttering, breathing hard. His throat is dry. He wants her forever. 

He never wants to let go. His is terrified that the second he lets go she will escape away forever like a million scurrying butterflies, never to be gathered again. He feels some deep longing roar deep within his soul. His soul has found it's counterpart and he never wants to let go. He swallows and gathers his courage. It's now or never. Was he not a prince? If he could not do this now then how could he govern a nation one day? To lose his Heart this part of himself... "Cass..." She looks at him eyes wide. He feels himself over analyze — starting to think too much — feeling the coming hindrance. If I take too long I'll never do it. NOW! He must do it now! Love is life! Who knows what might happen in the future. "Cass..." He furrows his brow and bites his lip. Cass looks at him alarmed. "Cass..." Dammit! Do it! "...I...love you..."

 He has been looking at the ground and his heart is going a hundred miles a second. It's kind of hurting — like a perpetual panic attack. His fingers are tingly and he feels a little dizzy. Did he really say it? Or did he just imagine it in his mind's eye? His vision is swimming. Come to think of it he hasn't really had any water today... or food. Spacing out he looks at Cass no longer sure he is awake. "Huh?" "What?" says T. Genuinely confused he is not even sure what is happening anymore. His vision is dancing, like the time he suffered from smoke inhalation in that fire. Cass' mouth falls slightly agape and she stares with incredulous brown eyes. 

T stares at her in return unsure if he said what he meant to say. Cass smiles then her mouth goes ajar again in disbelief. This would be a humorous situation if T wasn't sure he was having heat stroke and terrified at her reaction. In a moment of panic T was about to bolt when a warm, dazed look arises in Cass' eyes. She gets a dreamy appearance then suddenly holds T's face in her hands and gives him a passionate kiss. She pulls away. Eyes wide and face strangely flush. Oh good she got the message. Then T passes out.