Dance of Ciprahn

Chapter Five

Cassandrah doesn't remember much else from the dream. Being the weirdo that she is she doesn't have a lot of close friends but those she did have she cherished as best she could. One of her friends was Gloria, who was a bit of a shut-in but a sweetheart nonetheless. She loves movies and was an aspiring director. Her room was covered with movie posters and other cinematic treasures. Gloria has an encyclopedic knowledge of directors and their works. She also dabbles with improv and has a thing for Asian guys. She has auburn hair that is a bright red and when she was young all the kids would tease her. Gloria is very quiet until you got to know her, then she is probably one of the weirdest people on the planet. 

Mango is her favorite fruit and she loves listening to metal bands. One day she showed up to class with her arm in a sling. She had been rocking out too hard and punched the wall. Her frail little fist couldn't take it and her bone fractured in a gross way. She has a terrible relationship with her father. Desrae Sean is very bipolar and while he could be nice and charming to outsiders he has a tendency to be verbally abusive and mean-spirited. Gloria is conflicted. She knew her father has some sort of mental disorder that made him erratic and it wasn't always his fault. He just couldn't relate to others like a normal person. Still, Gloria had been hurt by him too many times and she had built up great walls around her heart. 

Unfortunately, it affected other parts of her life as well and made her far too guarded and distant. Jo is a fiery extrovert who likes to go around and talk to people. She was an African-American/Latina mix who sort of looked like Ariana Grande except taller. Jo could have conceivably been in a relationship with a guy but she has never really gotten over Ben. The details are a bit sketchy, and Cassandrah could only get so much out of her, but it was clear that he had a huge impact on her. Jo could be real mellow, and like a chameleon could blend in with any group of people. She could be weird with the weirdos, but cool with the cool cats. Jo was easily the most popular of the three, with Cassandrah second. Cassandrah could only be social in short spurts, then would need to be alone in order to "recharge." She is a social introvert who likes being around people but who also needed her space. 

Jo has just finished up school even though she was almost thirty. She was loud and swore like a sailor so much that she could peel the paint off a wood wall with her profuse profanity. She is not afraid to voice her opinion or back down from a fight. But she is the most loyal friend you could ask for. She always has your back, and if you were tight with her you have a friend for life. The three had gone to the same college in New Mexico and had met by chance. An odd assortment of people by any stretch of the imagination, they had somehow been drawn to each other magnetically and met. They were all dealing with the stark reality of adulthood. Cassandrah, now livid and yelling, has come home to find a seventy dollar parking ticket awaiting her in the mail. Mrrraaaaa! Noooooo! She felt like crying. It is another Monday. It is a week before Valentine's Day and there she is, as single as ever. The prior year she was able to scrounge up a few dates but they didn't lead anywhere. 

She seems to emit a beacon signal that only womanizers and terrible men could detect. She has a sinking suspicion she has resting angry face or some other divine curse forever sabotaging her love life. A non-practicing Protestant, she isn't exactly religious but is more old-fashioned than what most guys seem to like. It seems like the guys she likes didn't like her back, and she didn't feel romantic feelings for those guys who seem to like her. It's not that Cassandrah wasn't attractive, it just seems like things didn't work out for some reason – some outside force always screws things up. She met this really nice guy and they clicked – but then he went back to Germany since he was just an exchange student. She met this other dude, and he also ended up leaving shortly to volunteer in a foreign country. One just got out of a serious relationship and wasn't ready for anything more, others ghosted her or just faded away. 

She didn't even want to think about her experiences with online dating. She is doing better than Gloria though. Gloria seems to self-sabotage whenever things are going well. Had Cassandrah studied more psychology she might be able to ascertain the reasons why. Gloria has a few flings here and there but it was always Jimmie. They had met freshman year in college and she always had an unrequited love for Jimmie who just thought of her as a friend. Cassandrah and Jo would chide Gloria to make a move dammit but Gloria would always resist and downplay it. It was frustrating. Cassandrah only just recently started trying to date (as in last year) and was mostly kind of learning as she went. With anxiety, emotional baggage from her teenage years and trying to maintain her scholarship she didn't want to add the toils and trauma of love and feelings on top of it all. 

Although now that she is confined to the prison walls of her cubicle at Smirts her company every freaking day, she wishes she had. It seems like all she does is work. And when she gets home from work she is too tired to really want to do anything. It is a real effort to fight traffic exhausted after a long day to make it to the weekly social functions she has already committed herself to. To do much more than that seems herculean. Especially in the winter. Eff the winter. Cass is no fan of the winter. In college, you are literally surrounded by people your own age and in the same stage of life. Young people bright-eyed and naive, wanting to change the world. Surrounded by eligible, smart talented singles in every class, cafeteria and school club activity. A few guys had even shown interest in her even though Cassandrah chose not to act on it. 

She had too much going on. At least she thought so at the time. Maybe it was more manageable than she thought. Oh man I think I'm running out of time. From here on out it's only going to get harder. Am I ever going to find someone? I never meet people anymore, this is looking bad. God I'm going to be one of those crazy cat ladies. Out of desperation she had joined a local church's young adults group but the people there seemed really young. Or rather she was just getting too old. She met someone there who was only eighteen. They weren't even alive when some of her favorite grunge bands were around. Nirvana, Alice in Chains, and a few others. Cass had just turned twenty-seven and she was not happy about it. The monotony of life is getting to her. 

Although an accountant in title, she had somehow migrated into customer support. She is pretty sure her coworker Anne didn't like her. She is still new to the department and is trying to learn the ropes so Anne had to take on some of the harder tasks. They have been understaffed for a long time and the work has been really been picking up. Also their boss has switched departments and they have someone else step in who is still trying to learn everything about the job as well. Really the whole department is new. Within the last year everyone else has quit although she isn't exactly sure why. 

She is really not a fan of talking to people on the phone but she has quite a bit of it to do. Smirts has created their own program E-Z Meeonis that helps people manage their budgets, track expenses and file their taxes. It seems like half the time people call to reset their password or sign up their account. It is kind of satisfying to help people but Cass isn't sure if this is what she wants to be doing this for the rest of her life. She is a little afraid of quitting her job without a clear goal in mind though. Sometimes when it is slow she would log in to her HR portal and look at her check stubs and benefits info. She is always angered when she sees her gross vs net pay. MRRRAAA effing taxes! What little I make, they take away. At least she has health insurance. And a retirement plan kind of. She does the same thing every day. Cassandrah is amazed how badly it sucks to be an adult.