There are two kinds of secrets. The ones we keep from others....
"I don't f*ck studs but I had you moaning and squirting like a damn fem yourself" she laughed. "Remember, this stays between us"
and the ones we keep from ourselves...
Before I knew it...
•Suspect Chapter Eighteen• Confrontation ~ I had to fight for what I believed in, regardless of the possible consequences. ~ •A week later• Sheepshead Bay, NY
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"Ain't you looking dreamy today, nigga" I said, admiring her outfit.
She blushed and folded her arms with a smile. "And you look like you been eating too many cookies. Don't be flirting with me after we haven't seen each other in months, b"
"I know I know and I need to tell you the reason why. Mind if we talk inside?"
"Nah, babe got her friends inside but we can talk on the porch" she said, turning her back.
"Lead the way..."
*
Sitting on Carter's girlfriend's porch, me and her decided to kick back and smoke a little like old times. I was nervous about telling her the truth but I think she should know before I really start to show. I know if I didn't, she'd probably feel some type of way and I don't wanna put a dent in our friendship. It was just time to be honest and accepting of what comes next.
"Bro, we gotta talk..." I started off, removing the hit of weed away from my lips.
"What's up? You hiding something?"
I cleared my throat dramatically. "Yeah but it's time I be honest with you and everyone else around me. We haven't been spending much time together because I've been...with someone else. That person is Nymir and....we've been involved for a couple months. Another thing is, is that I am currently pregnant with his child...and that's why I've gain some weight" I confessed.
It was quiet for awhile, but I urged her to say something. The look on her face showed just how shocked she was to the news. "Wait–....*chuckles*....you'rejuststraight now...all of a sudden?"
"Bi-sexual....–maybe. To be honest, I haven't thought about a girl since we started messing around"
"What made you mess around with him in the first place?" She looked at me disgusted.
I frowned. "Uh because I started to really like him, and he's been a good friend of mine for awhile..."
"You told me you'd never be with a nigga. Not only are you seeing him and doing things unprotected but now you pregnant? I mean– what the fuck did I miss? When were you ever attracted to him?"
I looked away from her. "I've always been but...I never wanted to be. And I know it's crazy and a lot to...take in. I hate that I had to blindside you."
"Yeah I'm very blindsided, yo. I'm just so confused..."
"I'm sorry Carter. To be honest again....I never really felt comfortable talking to you about...feminine shit. No matter what, you were always the dominant one who had the mindset ofa true dude. You haven't even lost your virginity yet. Me? I lost mine but in that....I think it made me feel like a woman regardless. Look, I started questioning my sexuality middle of last year and...I considered myself as a stem who could be attracted to both studs and fems. I had sex with a stud one night, now it's turned into...going and giving men a try. Me and him agreed to keeping it at just being friends but...he was falling in love with me and I admired that. Thus, I started to look at him differently and now...I'm in love with him. Like–I love him. We did things, yes, and my stupid-ass forgot all about condoms because I never had to use them before and now I'm pregnant. I'm embarrassed to be..telling you this but I know you're my friend, a good one and I hope nothing changes that. I know you're blindsided by it all, and I'm still taking it day by day myself. I hope you can understand how I'm feeling. I'd love for you to still be my friend and to...meet my son once he's here"
