Opinions and thoughts

July 10th

I make these mistakes hoping to one day become a better person. I constantly fail to protect those I love.
I can't do this anymore.
I refuse.
You are broken. You cope unhealthily, I'm your pain killer. And I would happily continue that role in your life if it weren't for the people I am putting at stake. Our friendship is gone. But I will continue to fill you as best as I can muster. I'm not asking you to return the favor. I'm content with my importance to you. I know you care about me.
Maybe platonically, even after all we've done. But I can see your heart in your eyes. Even as a complete stranger. I understand it. But I cannot do this anymore. Not to you, nor to anyone. It is pure betrayal. You make me feel good. You make my conflicts disappear.

I am a creature of love. And no matter how bad I want to continue this, I need love. And you cannot return. No matter how much you wish to.
But I refuse to pin this anger to you. I will not turn this pain and hate onto you. That moment has passed. My moment for self redemption is gone. All that I have left to do is leave. It is all I can do.
My chance to hate you is long gone. I except the fact.

But no longer will I continue down this path with you.