Opinions and thoughts

July 10th

I feel I envy everything but myself. I find beauty and color and love in everything but myself. I have these strange attachments to people and places I know nothing of. I have feelings that the human mind cannot physically comprehend. I get a gnawing pain at the pit of my stomach when I think of the people, the memories, the ideas I enjoy. Not out of missing them. Not out of fearing the day they will leave.
Just the familiar ache of wanting.
And when I get it, I seem completely unfazed.
And once I lose it, I feel this terribly overwhelming since of guilt and regret and fear. I feel this inhuman mourn so deep inside of me that I am clueless as what to think or do.
I believe the point of life is to further your understanding. As stupid as that may seem, that is all a person has. In this society, knowledge seems to be envied above all. Above all the plastic personality's and fake wealth. The only reason one would know to act that way is a lack of knowledge. The clueless shall worship the clueless. And wisdom shall worship wisdom.
I damn the urge that continues me on this meaningless path to a unfulfilling death.
I damn these chemicals that hold my brain in balance to march along the lines carved into dirt.
I damn the people that's follow, and I damn the people that lead.

I damn a world where I cannot feel content in my own skin.