I can't love you too deep

Nights like this

,,Carl, can you bring in the Plates, please?" Maggie asked with an exhausted and yet friendly expression on her face. ,,Sure." With everything going on, Carl was really looking forward to the Dinner. In the morning Maggie had announced that she wanted to do a big family Dinner, to celebrate. Even though nothing special had happened in a while, Carl thought that it was a great idea to appreciate the ordinary days that you have. They were full of work, sorrows and the memories that were hunting you where ever you go. But spending them with the people you love was a privilege. And Carl couldn't be more thankful for it.

With a soft clink, he took the plates out of the cupboard and headed for the living room. When Carl wanted to walk through the door, he ran straight into Enid and could stop himself before they collided. His lips turned into a careful smile. He didn't want to scare her away but show that he wouldn't just give up. At least they had talked to each other a few days ago and Carl was ready to work on that. Maybe she just needed more time. Enid looked at him with big eyes but slightly returned it. It was just a hint of a smile, but it was more than she had for him in the last few weeks. Her face seemed strained, what Carl couldn't assigned. Was she forcing herself to smile or holding herself back? Maybe she had just been polite, maybe she really meant it. Carl thought about saying something, but decided to leave it. He had gained a little success and didn't want to ruin it. Putting her under pressure would just cause the exact opposite to happen, from what he wanted. So he just pushed past her and finally went to the living room.

Jesus and a few others had brought out the couch and now there was a big table in the middle of the room. It was already set, just waiting for the people to come. Most of them were already sitting on their chairs and Carl smiled at them. It wasn't often that they were all together, not just walking past each other. After all the time, he never had a conversation with Jesus, even though he had really impressed him. He hadn't talked to Siddiq since he had been at the infirmary. Carl was looking forward to catching up on all that stuff. He placed the plates and took a seat next to Siddiq. Maggie entered the room and Enid shortly followed. While Maggie stopped at the end of the table, Enid put down the salad bowl and headed for one of the last remaining chairs left. To Carl's pleasure it was the seat directly opposite him. He tried to ignore her as good as he could to make sure, that he wouldn't scare her away. With hesitation, she sat down next to Tom, who smiled friendly at her. Carl was just glad that it wasn't Kyle. In that case he would never had the chance to talk to Enid. Well, he wasn't sure if he had it now, but still.

,,Okay, Guys. I know you're all hungry." Maggie started with a hand on her belly. ,,Damn right, we are!" You could hear Daryl mutter while he stared at the food in front of him, causing a few people to giggle. Maggie rolled her eyes at him but continued to smile. ,,I just wanted to say something before we start to eat. It's not often that so many of us together." Carl nodded and saw his earlier thoughts confirmed with her words. ,,We all have been through a lot. And it means so much to me that you are here. All of you." She looked around and her voice was full of emotions. ,,A few years ago, when we lived in the prison, I thought that I'm pregnant. Glenn was so scared of it because he didn't want our child to live in a world like this. But even though he isn't here anymore, I'm not scared." Maggie's eyes were filled with tears. Despite her dark eye bags and the state she was currently in, to Carl it felt like she was glowing. Her whole aura showed the strength she probably didn't even know she had. With everything that Maggie had lost through the years, she became one of the strongest people that Carl knew.

,,I survived long enough to know that the fight with Negan wasn't our last. But I also lived long enough with you to know that we'll make it. We can create a Life that is worth fighting for. A world that is safe for our kids. All of this is possible, because we are survivors. We all have seen the worst kind of things, became someone that isn't recognizable. And everyone of us lost people that he thought he couldn't live without." With these words it became quiet again. Carl thought about all the family members that he had left behind. Some of them were dead and with others he had lost contact because of the apocalypse. Carl also remembered his Mom. The way that she had always brought him to bed when he was little and how she had screamed on her last few minutes on this earth. When he looked around Carl saw that everyone had lowered their heads. They probably also thought about all the people that they loved and that weren't around anymore.

,,Despite everything that we had to endure, to survive...to come back from...we're still here. Even if it had looked like for some time, that some of us would not be." With that she gave Carl a little smile, which he slightly returned. But his mind and his eye wandered somewhere else. ,,Why are you looking at me now?" Enid whispered towards him, while Maggie continued her speech. Her voice was some kind of angry, which Carl didn't really understand. He had noticed exactly how she had watched him from the corner of her eye. Which confused him even more. Was that a good or a bad sign? She was obviously in self-defense mode. So Carl just shrugged his shoulders, trying to sound emotionless when he whispered back. ,,Mostly because you're sitting in front of me." Enid gave him a glare but didn't respond to it. Carl smiled to himself. Despite his confusion and her defensive attitude, he had realized something. It was not like Enid didn't care. She clearly felt something and was just hiding it. And Carl wanted to do his best to find out what it was.

He turned back to Maggie who was just finishing her speech.  ,, ...for that. I couldn't be more thankful to have a family like you for me and my Baby." Her eyes were filled with tears and it was obvious that she had touched everyone with her words. Aaron raised his glass and shouted: ,,We love you, Maggie!" Someone giggled and everyone began to imitate him.

The sound of clinking glasses, happy laughter and friendly talks were the only things that you could hear that night. Everyone shared stories from lives they had lived a long time ago. When Jesus told about his first party at college, he made Rick laugh so hard that it brought tears to his eyes. Carl couldn't have been more happy. Even though a few stories clearly weren't made for his ears and Rick made corresponding comments about it, which caused Carl to blush, this night felt magical. It felt weird, but like it was right. Like this was how it was supposed to be. They didn't care about all the dangers outside the walls.

Carl hadn't talked to Enid in that night. But at some point when Maggie had talked about her first boyfriend, and they both had looked away embarrassed, their gazes had met. And for a tiny little moment she had smiled at him, which he had gladly returned.

When Carl went to bed, he still had this silly feeling inside of him. His whole body was full of energy and his mind was filled with unforgettable memories. Sleep came slowly over him and Carl thought that he could really get used to nights like this.