Nicholas Brethwell

I once heard a poem 'There was a boy who liked to draw, he drew pictures nobody saw. He was most artistic late at night, in the bathroom out of sight. He kept a secret nobody knew, he didn't tell a soul and his gallery grew. His drawings were different, no paper or pen, but needed a bandage now and then. We stood by the river under the stars he rolled up his sleeves and showed me his scars. He felt embarrassed and looked down at his shoes, then I rolled up my sleeve and whispered "I draw to."' And every time one word from that poem is mentioned in every day life, my head jumps to Nicholas. Oh god how I missed him. I never thought that you could actually have so much love for a single person, so much feeling. It amazed me how you, yourself are just a whole lot of atoms that feel things for other atoms. It's amazing how we put our feelings in other peoples hands instead of holding them ourselves. We let other people control our emotions. It's like we give them the game controller and just sit back as they make us feel dozens of emotions every day. As much as you think you are in control, you are not.

"Farrar?" My thoughts of game controllers and emotions were disrupted and crushed by my English teacher. I didn't know why I wasn't in it today, because I usually am, I didn't hate English in fact, I lived for it. I loved literature. Talking about books and why the characters act like they act. The reasons behind it fascinates me. Well fascinated me.

All eyes were on me and I instantly went red. "Are you with us, dear?" She asked while some kids laughed and others look at me with pity. Since Nicholas died from the impact of the car colliding with his windscreen. People surely only see a lost girl who lost her beloved boyfriend, or a pathetic girl who is an attention seeker. Only two options. But at this point I couldn't care less of which I went under.

I just nodded my head and looked back at the board. I missed a whole lecture of grammar and punctuation while day dreaming of a bunch of nonsense. Today was just not my day. It's been two weeks since the car accident but I couldn't stay off school any longer. I'm truthfully surprised I found any self courage and energy to actually get up and up of bed today since the last two weeks have only consisted of eating, sleeping and day dreaming. I've been isolated and I didn't even notice.

(Hi guys, this is my first story and I apologize for any errors, but I hope you enjoy!)