Disarray

Superstar - Noam Dar (part 2 of 18)

Oh, no no no no. This can't be happening! How can I be so stupid to want something, someone, so badly. Noam, of course, is nowhere to be seen at this point. Quite frankly I'm glad he's not around. It makes what I just did way more real, and I can't deal with that at the moment.

Various, never ending knocks at the door cause me to get up. I put on a giant shirt that so happens to be Chad's. There standing at the door was an already dressed and happy looking Renee.

"Hey!" She says cheerfully.

"What's up?" I question nonchalantly, hoping she won't notice anything is up with me.

"Uh, we decided that we were going out for breakfast." She reminds. My eyes go wide. Great! We can chat about my guilt over a nice pancake. 'Hey Renee! I fucked Noam last night, and completely forgot about Chad,' Or I could completely avoid the giant ton weighing on my shoulders. Yeah, I like the second option. I can't face the judgment that I'd receive for doing what I did last night.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry. Can you wait like 30 minutes?" I ask her.

"Yeah, sure. I guess. Was Chad here last night?" Renee asks interested, was it obvious that I had sex last night?

"No, I just fell into one of those deep sleep. Knocked out no awakening me." I say lying. She nods. It feels so bad lying to my best friend, but I can't tell her the truth about last night. I can't tell her anything. It's just a secret for Noam and I. And since it's only happened once, there's no reason to tell her.

"I'll go and freshen up my makeup in the meantime." She says with the nod of her head.

"You look perfect like always. Don't worry." I say. She smiles brightly before walking down the hall. I close my door softly, and stand with my back pressed against it.

.

I looked at myself in the mirror checking to see if I noticed any differences. My under eyes had a bunch of concealer on it to make it seem like I wasn't a zombie. I fixed a few hairs, not in place and looked at my wedding ring as I did so. When I said my vows, I said I'd love Chad until the day I die, I'd stay faithful to him till the day I die. Course, I still do love him, that won't change, but I didn't stay faithful, it wasn't even that long ago since we got married. A little over a year and a half.

I remember talking with my sister, she told me that not everyone stays completely faithful, that people start to fancy other people, even if it's not that long. You don't stay tied with one person forever. Little glances at other men, checking them out. That's all one thing. But, actually sleeping with someone other than your significant other is something else. Most stories and movies blame the male, that he slept with another woman, then the girlfriend walks in on them. Crazy things like that. I wouldn't call what Noam and I necessarily did last night sleeping with one another. There wasn't any sleeping involved in that.

My mind can't stop replaying the events of last night, his hands all over my body, his lips kissing all over my body, the way he made me feel. I cant just forget it, but I've got no choice if I want to keep my marriage intact.

.

.

.

"So, what'd you do after you got to the hotel? No one heard anything for the rest of the night." Renee questions, once we sit in the dining hall in the hotel. I look at my hands, earlier I said that I fell into a deep sleep, so I suppose I've got to build upon that answer.

"I was dead tired, and I forgot we decided to go out for breakfast," I say using yet another lie. After telling one lie, it gets addicting. Like I can't stop, it's invigorating, and dangerous.

"Well, that's good. You haven't really been acting too like yourself since you have been on the road." She says. I shrug, she's right. But I doubt I'd admit it.

"Yeah well. It's every show WWE has to offer just in case they want to use me. I'm just a little stressed." I say.

"You will get a schedule, and debut. Just know that it's not gonna be long. Then you get to see Chad more often." Renee assures.

"Yeah," I say ignoring the Chad statement. As excited as I am to have a schedule and be able to go home more frequently, I don't think I'm ready to have a schedule. Especially considering the fact that I'd have to see Chad more often.

"So, how are the two of you?" She questions.

"I haven't talked to him in a week," I answer feeling even more guilty. Maybe that's why Noam decided to pursue me. Maybe him not knowing, or maybe he knew, but young age and stupidity combined lead me to Noam. I mean I'm 5 years older than him! When I was 5 years old running around, laughing and playing he was just being born. But now, that age gap only matters in Wrestling. Young age means inexperienced, and stupid decisions. Noam, on the other hand, was quite experienced and his stupid decisions were probably impulse decisions...right? God, I wish I could get him out of my mind. He's plaguing my mind way more than I need him to.

"You okay? You seem really out of it." She tells me.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Quit worrying. I'm just stressed. I promise. Once we get to the hotel I'll go back to relaxing." I tell her. She nods as we enjoy the rest of our meal. Or at least she does, I spend the rest of the meal constantly on edge and my thoughts wandering towards Noam.