[hoseok's pov; apartment no. 218; saturday]
i feel empty. it's as if a treasure has been taken away from me, and i don't know where it could be hidden.
"hello? are you still staring at the same spot?" namjoon asked, leaning from the door which he broke open some time ago.
nice one, king of destruction. nice one.
"i just wanna look there right now" i answered without any signs of moving my gaze away from the gray-colored empty wall, while flipping a cigarette pack in my hands.
i heard namjoon coming closer to me and sighing in a soft manner.
"i know, i'm annoying, namjoon-ah" i said, sighing as well.
i didn't get an answer from him. all i got was his stretched hand shoving one of those $1 lighters in front of my face.
"we'll find it, hoseok-ah. have this for now" he said, waiting for me to take the white plastic lighter from his hand.
i looked up at him with a hurt smile.
"thanks" i mumbled, looking at the thin piece in my shivering hand.
he nodded, going back to the entrance and stopping his steps.
"i'll get my tool box and come back to fix this" his voice announced. "since i broke it anyways, so it's on me to fix it. be right back, buddy".
i mumbled a short "mhm" as a sign of thankfulness, or because i didn't know what to say at the moment. not sure.
as there was no more presence of my neighbor, i gazed at the lighter he had just given me again.
it's just like any other lighter. purposefully filled with fluid. yet to me it's empty.
out of desperation, i took one cigarette from my pack and with the flick of my fingers, a flame appeared.
the warmth. the essence of her.
i couldn't feel it.
"i could have seen her beautiful face again... if only i hadn't lost it somewhere" i mumbled to myself, putting the lit cigarette between my dry lips and letting out a cloud of smoke.
i felt unpleasing shivers go down my spine. this was supposed to produce a warm feeling but it only showed me the colorless world around me. i feel cold without eva.
i named it after her. it's one thing that reminds me of the rare happy moments i had in my early stages of youth.
"all i'm doing right now is killing myself, without even getting a chance to see you..." i mumbled, looking through the window. "i'm sorry, mom..".
i felt guilty. i wanted to smash myself into that empty gray wall i was looking at mere minutes ago. i somehow lost it, losing the vivid images of the woman looking over me with it.
...
"hoseok-ah!" i heard her stern voice call out to me.
she always talks in a soft manner, even when calling for me. it's weird hearing her voice like this. did i get in trouble?
i stepped into the living room, feeling the warm floor planks touch my bare feet, as i looked into my mother's worried face.
"where did you find this, dear?" my mother asked, holding a dark, metal rectangular lighter.
that's why she called out to me... it's not like i used it. i just found it while cleaning my room.
"i found it at the bottom of the boxes in my room" i answered, still feeling her worried gaze piercing me.
YOU ARE READING
Sunshine // 햇빛 // Yoongi x Hoseok
Random"dream, hope, forward, forward" he said, yet again, with the brightest smile he could pull off, while the cameras were pointing at him; it was a usual situation. he says the phrase every friday night to audiences behind a tv screen who have no idea...
