Just A Fan: A Kevin Alston Story

Chapter Two: Counseling

I had been very sad. I wouldn't say I was depressed, because that's something very serious, but I was definitely extremely sad.
My mom thought it'd be best to take me to counseling since I still hadn't opened up to her about why I've been blue, but I still didn't think this would help because I didn't want to open up to anybody about what I was feeling. They'd just think I'm insane.
After sitting in the waiting room for a while, my name is finally called. I'm walked to a very nice room with two couches on each side and a rug in the middle. I sit on one of the couches. After waiting a couple minutes, the counselor finally walks in.
"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Jennifer. I'll be speaking with you today."
"Nice to meet you Jennifer," I responded shaking her hand, "I'm Alex."
She sat on the couch across from mine with a clipboard.
"So since this is my first day meeting you, I need to learn about you. I'm just going to ask you some questions, and you give me your honest answer."
I nodded in response.
"Who's someone or something that you love a lot, or makes you happy?" she asked.
"The Bomb Digz," I replied.
"Who are they?"
"Well, they're a group of three boys who sing. They're super attractive and talented. I've been a fan of theirs for awhile."
"Interesting. How long have you been a fan of theirs?"
"Two years."
"Wow," I thought to myself, "it's been two whole years."
"It feels like forever, though," I told her.
"Tell me more about them."
"Well okay. Where do I start? I know this sounds crazy, but they're literally the loves of my life. They mean the world to me and I want the best for them. I feel such a strong connection with them. Kevin Alston is my favorite member. He's so beautiful and has such an amazing voice. Of course all of them are beautiful and talented, but that kid's got something special."
"Well that's great, it sounds like they make you very happy."
I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, they do."
"Anything else that makes you happy?" she asked.
"Well, honestly, they make me more happy than anything."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"Well let's move on. What are some things that make you sad?"
This is when I knew I was about to sound crazy, especially to someone that I just met.
"Something that makes me the saddest is The Bomb Digz, too."
"But you just said they made you happy," Jennifer responded confused.
"Well, that's the thing. They mean so much to me that it makes me very sad."
"Why is that?"
"Like I said, I feel such a strong connection with them. I feel like I know everything about them. I feel like I know them. Then I snap back into reality and realize, I don't. I'll never know them the way I want to. They'll never know me either."
"Well they're singers, right? I'm sure you'll get to meet them at a concert of theirs someday."
"But that's different. Of course I'll get to meet them at a concert someday. Don't get me wrong, that would mean the world to me, but I want more than that. I want to be able to learn things about them that I don't know, I want to hang out with them, I want to be able to call them my friend. So even if I do get to meet them at a concert, my real dream will never come true. To them, I'll always be just another fan. They'll forget my name the next day."
Everything I wrote that one day was just pouring out. I knew this would happen. I wanted to leave already.
"How could you feel such a way about people you don't even know?"
"I don't know, Jennifer," I replied, "I don't know."