fire & gasoline ~ jenzie

~feelings~

mackenzie

i'm mackenzie ziegler. i don't like to brag, but some would refer to me as the schools 'it' girl. i don't really see it, never mind i take that back. i live in the biggest house in the neighborhood. well one of the biggest.

the other belongs to my next door neighbor, johnny orlando. we have known each other our whole lives. his sister lauren is my best friend so i'm always at their house. but was a lot of people don't know about me and johnny is that we are constantly down each others throats.

i wouldn't dare admit this to anyone else, except the one person who knows, lauren. i have had a crush on johnny for as long as i can remember. ironic right? his sister is the only person who knows. ha.

lauren swears that he feels the same, but i don't. johnny is the schools flirt. has a new girl every week. i think he has dated just about all of the junior girls. not sure though. anyway i don't act like other girls around him. i think i have gotten so used to liking him that i can control my feelings.

i would be lying if i told you i don't feel a pang of jealously every time i see him flirting with some other girl or making out with another. lauren knows me better than anyone, so she never invites me over without kicking out one of johnny's 'dates'.

johnny won't catch on because he only sees me as a little sister. which makes me sad, because to him that is all i'll ever be. but to me he is the world.

those beautiful emerald green eyes of his, and his dirty blonde hair that always looks good. i can't focus when i'm around him. but i never let it show that i like him. nope, i take that back. i did confess my feelings once. back i fifth grade. i told him how i felt and he didnt feel the same.

i was never able to move on. i tried once though. one of my other long time guy friends, brandon rowland asked me out in seventh grade. i said yes even though i didn't really like him, hoping it would help, it didn't.

my friends tried to help me. that didn't work either. i have a tight group of friends that i've had since elementary school. there's me, lauren, annie, and nadia. we are all known as the 'it' clique. we don't usually like it.

~

johnny

yeah yeah. if you go to liberty high you know i'm the schools 'flirt'. well i mean that could be true. people say that about my friends and me. but i mean look at us, we're hot and everyone likes us.

i like most of the girls i take home. i mean lauren doesn't like any of them and constantly tells me she only wants me with one girl, but will never tell me who. i want to say i have a guess, but im completely clueless.

my tightknit group of friends are as follows, me, hayden, carson and brandon. i'm the only so called 'flirt'. mostly because annie and hayden have been together all 3 years of highschool. brandon and nadia are a thing. and carson once had a thing for my sister, but i shut that down real quick, although i don't know if they followed.

my group and mackenzie's friend group have all known each other for a long time. me, mackenzie or kenz as i call her, and lauren have all known each other since pre-k. but all the other got together in elementary school.

i used to have a thing for kenz, until she fessed up her feeling in fifth grade and i got to nervous to say anything back so i just got over i guess. i mean i think i got over atleast. i tease her but she does it back so she can't be mad. if i said i didn't like it i would be lying.

but i DON'T like her..

i constantly tell myself that, and i know its true. i know my feelings. my head knows my feelings and they aren't for kenz. but sometimes i can't help but think that my hearts feelings are different.

a/n
hmm don't know how i feel ab this already but i guess its alright.

lemme know.

may continue this over my other book, not sure yet