Beautiful To Me (Boyf Riends AU)

Chapter 4: Memory

This chapter was way more interesting than I anticipated.

(Michael's PoV)

TW: Suicide Attempt, Homophobic F-slur

(Time jump to the past brought to you by: Supercuts: for a brand new you!)

I felt so alone. 

Mom just walked out on me and my dad after yelling at him that I was ugly. My own mother thought I was ugly.

I was at a football game. The last of the season. My dad had left to go to the bathroom, but when I got up to follow him, I was shoved to the ground. "Loser," I heard someone say behind me. "Fag." I tried to get up. "You should just kill yourself, you ugly bitch. Not like anyone would notice."

The worst thing was, they were right. 

I felt tears running down my cheeks as I got up and ran away from them. I needed somewhere to hide. The locker rooms seemed like the best place to be.

I saw that someone had left a pocketknife in there. Perfect. 

Using the small blade, I began to draw lines in the blotchy skin of my arm. It hurt, but it was relieving. I slit my wrists and watched blood pour out of them. 

I sighed and wiped my face, blood mixing with tears. I would have continued, but suddenly my energy drained and the knife fell out of my hands, making a loud clattering noise on the ground. The last thing I felt was my head hitting the ground painfully before everything went black.

"Michael!" Rich's voice brought me out of my stupor slightly. "Oh my god, Mich— JAKE! Help! Please." He started to cry. "Please don't die, Michael."

"Rich, what—" Jake's voice. "Oh my fucking god."

"Get help! Please!" Rich sounded frantic.

"Coach!" Jake called, panic soon leaking into his voice as well.

I heard footsteps walk into the area. I heard a man's voice say, "God, Jake, what do you want? It's only half— Oh my god."

The footsteps sped up and I felt my body being lifted gently. "Richard, call an ambulance. Jake, can you get the first aid kit?"  The hands pulled off my shirt.

After a moment of nothing, I felt my arms being bandaged and cleaned. An ice pack was put under my head.

I heard Rich's shaky voice say, "They said they'll be here in five minutes." He seemed to get closer to me. "Hang in there, bud," he whispered.

I let everything fade away again.

"Hey. You." I opened my eyes to see a very white room. Standing over me were two boys. One was tall and thin, wearing all black. He had chin length chocolate hair and his nails were painted black. The other boy was shorter, with short brown hair and glasses. His arms were crossed and he looked mildly bored.

"Oh," the shorter one commented. "He's not dead."

"Shut it, Kleinman," the taller one hissed.

"Um, hello? You dragged me here to check on your gay lover because he fell out of a fucking tree for the second time. And you said we couldn't even go bathbomb shopping after that, so I can't even have a little fun?"

"We're not dating!"

"Um, I'm sorry," I slurred, blinking to make sure they were real. "I think you're in the wrong room."

"Look, Murphy, You woke him up." The shorter one, supposedly Kleinman, crossed his arms.

"Can we not talk about me please?" I whispered.

The taller one turned to me, his eyes flickering down my body before back to my face. "We're here for a guy named Evan—"

"Your lover—"

"—he broke his arm falling out of a tree. Again." The shorter boy pointed across the room to a blonde-haired boy with his arm in a cast that was stirring. The taller boy raced over to Evan and clasped their hands together. Evan opened his eyes and mumbled, "Hey, Con..."

"Um," I started awkwardly, "can I have your names?"

"Sure!" the short one said. "I'm the insanely cool Jared Kleinman, the school shooter-lookin' guy—" he received a glare from the taller boy— "I'm just kidding— is Connor Murphy, and the kid with a cast is Evan Hansen."

"Kleinman," the taller one cautioned. "You're scaring him."

"I'm scaring him?! Being in the room with you is probably scaring him!" the insanely cool Jared Kleinman retorted.

"You—" I let their arguing flow over me as background noise, closing my eyes and drifting off into a deep sleep.

(Time jump back to the present brought to you by: GIECO: fifteen minutes can save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.) 

I walked slowly away from Jeremy, thoughts and memories racing through my head. But I was sure of one thing all the while: I was not going to smoke that day.

I would be fine without it.

Smoking is bad for me anyway.

I sped up, heading towards my computer science class. I was looking at the ground and wasn't paying attention. I was almost there when I suddenly crashed into someone and fell to the ground.

"Ohmygosh! Fern, I'm so sorry! I-I-I didn't seeyouthereandIjust—" he stuttered.

"It's okay," I mumbled, staring at the ground as I picked myself up. I looked up at the person I crashed into and inhaled with surprise. He had blonde hair and a blue striped shirt, and there was a cast on his arm. He looked familiar, but where had I seen him?

"You look famil—"

"Evan! Get your gay ass over here!"

"Um," he said, "I, uh, have to go, soI'lljustseeyoulatersobye."

He walked over to the person who called him, a brown haired dude with glasses. There were a couple of girls over there, and a tall guy with chin-length chocolate hair.

"Wait!" I said. "I know where I've seen you before."

"Where?" he asked hesitantly.

"You're Evan Hansen, right?"

(Time Skip brought to you by Nike: Just Do It)

(Jeremy's PoV)

I was almost in tears as I walked home. I can't believe I asked Michael that question. I'm so insensitive.

Maybe I should call and apologize.

I pulled out my phone and entered his number into it. With shaky fingers I pressed call and waited a few moments before a voice on the other end said, "Hello?"

"Hey... it's Jeremy."

"Oh! Hey, how did you get my—"

"That's not important," I interrupted. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for today."

Silence. "Oh. It's fine."

"And, uh..." An idea came to me.

"Jeremy? Hello?"

I bit back a smile. "Do you wanna come over?"

My chapters are getting shorter and I'm not proud of it. I have camp today and my mom is secretly planning a surprise trip. I don't think I'm supposed to know about it.

What's the title of your favorite album?

Mine's Voicenotes.

Bye.

Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend,

Hacker

Word count: 1143