Love and Heartbreak

Back To The Past...

You saw me from a distance, and I saw you too. I tried to avoid you but there was no escape. I had to pretend as if I never knew you. As if you were not the reason for my downfall.

I asked for your assistance, my mum oblivious to it all. Our eyes met, and you smirked. And I became weak again. A victim of your foul sounding words. I was back to the state I was in last year - alone, upset and terrified. My hands started shaking uncontrollably.

I begged... No I pleaded my mother to ask for the converses in my size. I did not want to communicate with you in any way. She did not hear the desperate tone in my voice. Nor my pleading eyes. I was all alone. With no one to help me. Just like last year.

With every look you gave me, every wall I struggled to build over a year, came crashing down.  I trembled under your gaze. I was becoming vulnerable again. I couldn't stand it any longer. I began to pace around the store, wanting to get away and forgetting why I came inside in the first place.

"Wait here, I'll be with you shortly." You said, still smirking.

There was no sense of regret. You could see how unsettled I was yet you revelled in it. It was as if it was still a game to you. A game I refused to play.

I walked out, now not in the mood to shop. I found myself thinking about you, and how you hurt me. How you broke me. There was no point in dwelling in the past but I kept going back to what you said. Those words that made me insecure. Weak. Vulnerable.

I needed something to make me feel in control. That will ease this pain. I walked into the nearest shop and bought whatever I liked, whatever took my fancy. I was in control now. But it still didn't ease the feeling I had inside. I was broken. And it could never be fixed. And it was all because of you.

StarGiirl96