The Stoner & The Blind Girl

Part 41

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"The world has been blind in the presence of artificial lights. They blame on the darkness in broad daylight."

-Bikash Chaurasiya

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I woke up to the sound of beeping.

I slowly opened my eyes. For a moment I was blinded by the light.

Where was I? I looked around the small space I laid in. I was in a hospital room.

Several machines were connected to me. I slowly left out a breath I didn't know I was holding. The beeping skipping a beat before continuing on.

How did I get here? My eyes watering.

Suddenly the room door opened. I turned to see my mom walking into the room.

Her blonde hair a mess, face puffy, and her watery eyes rimmed red from crying.

Our eyes met.

I did this to her. It was my fault she was hurting. I let her down.

Slowly she moved closer to the bed. She sat in a chair next to me. She took my hand in hers.

She held my hand as if she was afraid she was going to break me; as if she was afraid I was going to slip between her fingers.

"Hey, baby." She whispered as more tears streamed down her face. My heart ached to see her this way.

I let go of her hand before reaching out and touching her wet cheek.

"M-mom." I croaked. There was a lump in my throat. My mouth the driest it's ever been. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as we looked at each other.

"I-it's true isn't it? Y-you've been doing d-drugs." She asked. Her voice breaking.

I didn't want to answer. I wanted to lie and say it wasn't true. I wanted to close my eyes and when I opened them find out this was all just a dream.

But, I wasn't dreaming. This was real life.

There was no denying it. There was no more hiding the truth. And, that was the scariest part. Once the truth was out there was no going back to how things used to be.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I looked away from her.

I couldn't face her.

I was met with the sound of her crying harder. The sound of her gasping for breath between tears.

I couldn't look at her knowing I was the one breaking her.

"I knew something was going on with you. I just didn't want to believe it. I didn't want this for you. I thought I could protect you and I couldn't. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She cried.

"I let you down. I did this. I could have stopped this. If only I had the guts to question you sooner. I failed you. I'm so sorry, honey. I wasn't there for you." My mom wailed as she held tighter on to my hand.

I turned to her unable to stop my tears.

"No, it wasn't your fault. You didn't let me down. It was me. I was the one who did this. It was my fault." I whispered. I could taste the salt of my tears on my lips.

She shook her head.

"No, I couldn't protect you. I wasn't there. I tried so hard and I couldn't protect you." She muttered to herself.

I didn't understand. What couldn't she protect me from?

Suddenly, she looked up at me as if she was snapped out of whatever thought she was stuck in.