The Stoner & The Blind Girl

Part 48

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"Eye and ears are not the problem... It is rage that blinds and deafens us. Or fear. Envy, mistrust. The world contracts, gets all out of joint when you are angry or afraid."

- Jan-Philipp Sendker

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I had officially been at Paxen Hills two day and I already hated it.

I hated the bland pale walls, I hated the overly peppy staff, I hated the equally as depressed as me other patients. I hate it all.

Today was my first session with Dr.Goldman. All I knew was my way of getting out of here laid with Dr.Goldman.

She held the keys to my freedom.

I was lead to her office by my head nurse, his name was Patrick and he was missing the majority of the hair on his head. I walked into her office. Dr.Goldman was a surprisingly young looking woman with almost unnaturally golden hair.

Patrick shut the door behind me. I looked around the small room.

"Do I sit or?" I asked unsure what to do. I was basing everything on what I saw people do when they went to see shrinks on tv.

"Do whatever makes you comfortable. This is a safe place." She said kindly. I sat on a chair across from her. She wrote something down.

There was a long silence.

"Aren't you suppose to ask me questions or something?" I asked in confusion. Dr.Goldman raised her brow.

"You can say what you please. I'm here to listen to you, Daniel. Not probe you with questions." She said calmly.

"But on tv therapist and shrinks always ask questions first." I pointed out. "Do you watch tv often?" She asked me as she wrote something.

I snorted. She looked at me.

"Sorry, you just said you weren't going to probe me with questions and then asked me a question."

She smiled before writing something down again.

There was another long silence. I wasn't sure how long it lasted.

"So how much longer are we gonna have to do this?" I asked boredly. I rested my legs on the small coffee table between us. She looked down at her watch. "About another 45 minutes."

"No, I meant all of this," I said getting to the point. I was done beating around the bush. "I don't understand what you mean." She said as she tilted her head at me.

"Is it a week? Two weeks? How long until I'm cured and can leave."

She frowned for the first time since I entered the room. "Addiction and mental illness aren't something you typically get cured from." She replied slowly.

What?

"Then what is the fucking point of me being here." I snapped not understanding. The whole point of me coming here was to get better and now I learn that was never gonna happen.

"What do you think the point is?" She asked me with interest. Her green eyes wide as she waited for me to reply. What kind of question was that?

"If I knew I wouldn't be asking you."

She smiled before writing something down.

Shit, if this was a test I just failed.

Finally, she replied, "Well, generally the purpose is to help you recover and get to a well enough mental, emotional, and physical state that you can withstand not giving into your addiction. More specifically for you, it would be very beneficial to learn how to cope and express emotions in a healthy way."