Smile Beautiful (Theo James fanfic)

Chapter 11

Theo,

        Ever since I read the letter that you wrote me, it got me thinking. It's been months since you've written me that letter. In those few months, I realized that it would be a shame if I didn't write you a letter back.

        As I sit here and write you this letter I also find myself a loss for words.

        Our relationship, or whatever we are, is funny, isn't it? The way we met, me finding you with her, it's all so weird, isn't it? 

        A little birdy told me that they're shooting Allegiant now. I hope you're having fun.

     This is a boring letter for you to read isn't it? Just me going on and on about random shit and avoiding the main reason to why I'm writing you.

        I don't know when, or even if you're going to read this, but if you do find yourself reading my letter, then thank you.

        Damn, I really need to stop changing the subject, Theo.

        Do you find it funny when I write down curse words? I do. I don't know why either, but I guess I just feel like writing down every thought I get.

        There I go again, changing the subject.

        I hope you're frustrated with me as I am frustrated with myself. 

       I might as well get it over with.

      The last day I saw you, on the trail, I did think that you said everything you needed to. I didn't see a reason to have anything else to say.

        The thing is, Theo, I didn't say all of what I wanted to say either.

        Shocker huh?

        I can imagine you reading this letter right now too... You're sitting on the edge of the chair with both hands on this letter as you read every word carefully. You're reading it in your head and imagining my voice speaking these words to you.

        The funny thing is, when you imagined me reading your letter, you were completely right.

        Now you're probably wondering if I accepted your apology. 

        I did, but Theo I'm dating someone.

        His name is Brent and Ansel introduced us.

        I know we weren't even dating, but from your letter I could tell how much you liked me. I wouldn't be surprised if you moved on.

        With that said, I hope you're dating an amazing girl because you deserve one. Shai told me that you were getting close to someone named Ruby? From what I've heard, she seems amazing Theo.

        I'm going to change the subject again so please don't hate me.

       I still have your letter. I keep it in a special place next to my bed. It's in my dad's old jewelry box. You probably don't know this, but he passed away two months ago. In his old box, I keep some of the letters he'd written me.

        You see, letters are a big thing in my family. We send them to each other so often you could say that we're writing as much as we text.

        It all started when I was six. My dad was deployed and he promised me that he'd write me every week. He did, but I didn't get them every week. I still keep those precious letters from my dad in that box right underneath your letter. My dad wrote me 104 letters while he was deployed and was gone for a little over a year.