Smile Beautiful (Theo James fanfic)

Chapter 19

"Hey, Megan! Just calling to remind you that your vacation days are slowly running out and you start back again on Monday! We hope everything is alright and we'll see you then!" The sound of my answering machine filled in the emptiness of the room.

So, I only have one night left of my 'vacation' and then it's back to our studio again.

I've been doing fine, and I really mean it this time. My mood swings have settled down, the urges of self-harming have stopped, and I actually talked to Ansel, Callie, and Shai the other day.

Recovering after a relapse has always been the hardest part for me. Every night the sunlight fades away and the darkness takes over the world and my mind. A book that was once filled with joy and happy endings suddenly became misplaced with cliff hangers and nightmares.

Theo became a common mystery to everyone else in my life. Along came questions like

'How are you and Theo?'

'Are you two dating?'

'Has he called you?'

'Have you been talking to each other?'

'Where do you keep your food?'

I have to give props to Ansel for that last one. He's so predictable. But to answer their questions:

Theo and I aren't really on speaking terms...

No, we're not dating.

Yes, he's called multiple times.

Again, we're not speaking at the moment.

Ansel ate all of my cereal that day.

I've decided to keep to myself during this time, and right now, Theo isn't in the picture. There are too many things to focus on at the moment. I can't fit him into all of this.

Telling him everything wasn't as bad as I thought. That sounds awful, I know, but I found that if you don't look up at the person it somehow makes it a little easier. It sounds weird, but surprisingly it's normal for me.

Although, it didn't stop Theo from calling, texting, or coming over. As much as I didn't want to, I kept my word.

This will be the first Christmas without my father here and it's all new to me. I have to focus on that and not have Theo swarming my thoughts this holiday.

Enough of my babbling. I have to get up early to work tomorrow.

_____________________

"Let me just tell you something girl," James started. "It has been complete hell since you left on vacation. Yes, I understand the circumstances and I don't want you to think that I don't know what you're going through. Something similar happened to my father and I know how hard it is throughout the first couple of weeks."

"No James you don't have to say anything." I interrupted him.

"I don't, but I want to." he looked at me. "I shut everyone out of my life for the first year I spent without him. I can't really explain why because I still don't know why I did. What I'm trying to say is please don't shut people out of your life. It may seem like the best thing to do and you might feel like you need it, but you and I both know from experience that everyone's time here is short. No one knows when their time is up."

"Wow..."

"Spend as much time with everyone as you can because I hate to say it, you're going to regret it one day."