Daggers | r.a.b

redemption

[daggers - part one]
[3rd] regulus

    The astronomy tower was rarely used by anyone at midnight, its long staircase and creaky steps putting people off from visiting the place. As a result, no one really knew about the beautiful view of the stars and the sky there, making it a perfect place to think.

    He had frequented the tower since the year started, hoping to clear his thoughts and feelings about a certain Ravenclaw girl, and about his plan to keep her safe, by letting her go and joining the other Slytherins, so his mother wouldn't hurt her for being close to her son. It also kept her safe from the rising Dark Lord, for if she continued being that close with him the Dark Lord would kill her for trying to get close to a pureblood.

    He knew it was hurting her. He also knew it was a terrible plan, but something had to be better than nothing. It was hurting him as well, and to call her that- that cruel, vile word hurt him as much as it hurt her. He never wanted to do any of this, and watching his crush being tortured was enough to shatter his heart.

    He knew that she was avoiding him for once, and not the other way round. He knew that her avoiding him was what he wanted her to do, but his heart broke every single time she avoided his gaze.

    He heard from a Ravenclaw he tutored that she was hexed so badly that the professors considered sending her to St. Mungos, and he felt so guilty in that moment he nearly broke his cover and went to the hospital wing to see her. He cursed himself for not stopping the madness, he had no excuse for himself, he just hoped that she would forgive her in the end.

    Even injured and confined in the hospital wing, she still managed to amaze him. He still saw Lily and Severus hanging out, proof that Lily didn't know the full story behind what had happened to the girl, even though he was sure she knew who had cursed her. The only reasonable and probable explanation for her to not tell her best friend was that she didn't want to destroy the friendship between Lily and Severus, even if she had a grudge against the latter, and that was admirable.

    She had been let out the previous week, after a month in the infirmary, and the way she looked at him broke his heart every time, and he just wanted to scream that he didn't want to do it, that he had a reason, but he just couldn't.

    Six months into the group, and he was already too deep in. It was too dangerous, too dark, but he had to try. He wasn't obsessed with the dark arts like the rest were, but he tried his best to know and learn everything about the Dark Lord. He knew it would come in handy someday.

    But he didn't want this. All he wanted was a quiet life, with the people he loved. Something simple. But then when was life simple? All his life he had been forced into the opposite of his beliefs, but he wasn't Sirius, he wasn't brave enough to voice out, that was what made him different from his brother. And that destroyed him.

    That night, he entered the astronomy tower per usual with a sheathed dagger, hoping to clear his head and get some alone time. Tonight, his wish wasn't granted.

    The tower was already occupied by the time he got there. Curious, he peeked in hesitantly, but instead of a couple like he expected, it was the person he wished to see, yet dreaded seeing, most.

    A girl sat on the ground before the giant opening that showed the clear night sky. Starlight engulfed her, making her seem like she was glowing in the faint light of the stars. But what was disturbing about her appearance was the fact that she was sitting in a small pool of dark red liquid, her nightgown stained with the same dark colour. A small knife lay near her, rusted with blood.

    The scene gave him a small flashback to when he had last met the gaze of the young girl in front of him, when she lay on the ground, shivering, helpless, and he was standing against the wall, horror and fear pinning him back, and as he looked at the girl in front of him, he was reminded of the image of her, curled up in pain and fear on the floor, those frightened light blue orbs still filled with determination and hurt, almost pleading.

    She seemed to not notice as he sat down beside her, even though he was sure she was aware. She flinched as he gently touched the long, bleeding cut on her arm, moving slightly away, brushing his hand off. He opened his mouth to call her, but she beat him to it.

    "Regulus." She sounded resigned, broken. Different from all the other times they had talked.

     "Hey," he managed to get out. Genuine worry clouded his face, for the girl next to him, for his first love.

    Wow.

    He'd never thought about it so deeply before. He had never really felt this way for anyone else before, that urge of overprotectiveness, the overwhelming love, like he couldn't survive without her. It suddenly became much more real, but it didn't change his mind.

    Yep. He was definitely in love with her.

    She stared blankly at the sky, crystal like tears obscuring her vision. He could tell she wasn't okay, but he still asked her, "are you alright?"

    No answer. That was expected. "I'm sorry," He tried. He knew he didn't deserve forgiveness, she was too good for him, and yet he couldn't resist, he just wanted to be close to her.

    "I didn't want to, I swear, I just didn't want to put you in danger because you're close to me, I'm so sorry, it was stupid, I'm sorry-" he apologized over and over again, until he got cut off by the girl wrapping her arms around him.

    He was caught off guard, but hugged back nonetheless. He caught a whiff of sweet cinnamon, reminding him of Kreacher's apple pies that he made for him when he was younger, one of his only happy memories from his childhood. It was comforting and soothing, and Regulus didn't ever want to let go of her.

    "I couldn't hate you if I tried," she whispered as she pulled away. They sat side by side, staring out at the landscape before them.

     "You didn't tell Lily," he noted, "I thought you would."

    She shrugged, eyes still trained on a single star. "Better to keep it secret, than to hurt Lily."

     He followed her gaze to a star, bright in the sky. With a jolt, he realized that he was looking at his namesake. He turned his head to look at her, only to see her looking back at him, a faint smile on her lips. "I understand," she whispered, "I don't blame you for what happened."

    Then it happened so fast. One moment they were still sitting together and talking, the next her lips were on his.

    People say that one's first kiss is the most magical moment in their life. For once, the people were correct- it was the most brilliant feeling in the world. It was gentle, her soft lips moving in perfect sync with his. It was like time froze as they kissed, it felt electric, magical.

     She pulled away too soon, a smile lighting her face. She had the sweetest smile ever. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

    He froze for a millisecond, then pulled her into another kiss, whispering against her lips,

    "I love you too."
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