Envy her

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•Spencer's PoV•

She ran away from him smiling ear to ear.

He chuckled lightly to himself before getting up.

There obviously close.

And I don't know why but I envy that.

Maybe it's because me and Charlie where never that close.

And to be honest I don't recon we will ever be.

Don't get me wrong Charlie's a great guy.

But he just doesn't get me.

He doesn't understand why I don't want to try out for football.

He doesn't understand what I've been through.

He doesn't understand why I live alone.

He doesn't understand that I'm gay.

He always try's to set me up with girls and I'm just not into that.

Or at the same time maybe I envy her.

Just her.

She has a friendship with him which I couldn't make.

He trusts her.

After I took him back to my apartment and he told me what happened he went home and we haven't spoken since.

I sigh and look back at the books before completely giving up.

I look back over at him and our eyes meet.

I don't break the gaze.

He has beautiful eyes.

No homo.

But still,

When you first look at him you see what he lets you see.

A stern face that shows no emotion.

Then you talk to him.

He doesn't open up but you can tell he's hurt.

But his eyes.

You can see the pain in them.

The beautiful pain.

Most people can't tell,

But he hides behind floppy fringes and snake bite piercings.

He hides behind books and music.

He hides behind his extroverted friend.

But inside he's broken.

He broken and won't let anyone fix him.

He turns his back and leaves the library.

That's when I make up my mind.

I'm going to fix him.

Just fix him,

That's all.

No more lies.

All I need is the perfect moment.

Little did I know that would be so soon.

—————————————

~emo

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