This is our story.

Not now not ever

A/n: slight trigger warning. Mentions self harm and depression I'll put the emoji ⚠️ before and after.

•colbys pov•

What's the point any more.

The only person who cared the slightest about me is dead.

The police don't have a clue what happened.

It's now been classed as a murder.

It's pissing me off.

All I've heard is bs of people telling me they 'understand what I'm going through'.

UGH!

I'm just fed up with it all!

And to make it even worse her funeral is tomorrow and her parents want me to speak.

Me!

I'm not even sure if i can manage to get there.

I mean I want to I really do.

It's just I don't think I can.

Not now.

Not ever.

I'm not prepared to let her go.

Not now.

Not ever.

They've turned her locker into a memorial.

I spend most of my time there now.

I sit by my locker which is next to hers.

That's what I'm doing now.

I'm sat by my locker resting my head on my knees half asleep.

⚠️

That's happing a lot now.

I either seep to much or I tire myself out to the point that I will pass out.

I'll either eat too much or starve myself.

The scars on my wrists have grown.

The first time I did it I didn't even realise what i was doing till I was cleaning the floor.

⚠️

I feel a singe tear roll down my cheek.

I don't even notice someone sit down next to me.

"Hey."

I recognise the voice and I don't look up.

"Look I'm sorry. You went to the party with her and then I stepped in this is all my fault."

He genuinely seemed to believe that.

"It's my fault."

I say under my breath.

"I beg your pardon?"

He says. He must of not heard.

"It's my fault!"

I say a bit loud. My voice cracked and even though he couldn't see my face it was pretty obvious I was holding back tears.

He wrapped a arm around my shoulders not caring if anyone saw.

"Hey it's not."

He said voice almost as weak as mine.

I wanted to reply but I couldn't my throat had grown tight and I know if I said something I wouldn't be able to hold these tears back.

He rubbed his thumb up and down my arm.

A small but comforting gesture.

I lost it then.

I fell back into him and broke down.

Tears were streaming down my face and even though I was showing weakness to anyone who walked past I couldn't hold it back anymore.

And not gonna lie I'm not sure what would've happened if he wasn't there.

He wrapped both his arms around me as if he was trying to protect me from my own guilt, depression, and mind.

————
This was hard to wright. Pls don't come at me about it. I'm trying to build his character. Also I'm sorry if I'm not updating any of my story's anytime soon but I'm really stressed at the moment and I'm trying to cut down on that so I might take a mini break. Sorry ~emo